This is a review of the weekend that surrounded Green Day's biggest show to date in Wembley Stadium. It starts with the evening of Friday June 18th and ends with the afternoon of Sunday June 20th. Just a warning for those about to have a read of this - it's 42 pages long. It took me just under 7 weeks to write. I hope you enjoy it.
The GDCers [members of Green Day Community.org] mentioned in here are:
The H/J Crew
Charlie - charlieissoawesomelike
Jamie - some_guy
Jen - JHyena86. She came over with her friend Alex who isn't on the fourm, from now on, she'll be refered to as Alex Vagina.
Holly - liquiddookie
Alex - Alexface. He will be refered to from this moment on as Alex Penis.
Mino - Minority_GD
Tanja - KarateKidTanja
Other Cool Kids
Polly - pols4tre
Sammie - ihaveapenisbitch
Taylor - Freedom To Obey
Matt - iamyourenemy
Rosie - Green Day Rose
Kaddi - GDKaddy
Sven - Svan
Kryssi - Kryssi
Alice - Mrs Nobody
Bubbles - Bubbles
Rebecca - 04rebhop
Nele - Nele
Emily - greendaygal89
Agija - Agija
Anja - Anja
Rita - natural_disaster
Veronika - theeulogy
Isabel - Isabel
12 minutes past eight on Friday June 18th, 2010, Charlie and I were at Greenhithe train station, boarding the train to Charing Cross. With us were two overnight bags - both fit to bursting with clothes and toiletries. We also had two white 50L bin liners with 5 pillows in each. We were finally on our way to Wembley Stadium after waiting nine months to see Green Day again. It was almost like waiting for a pregnancy to end. We were impatient and in need of drugs, well alcohol.
There’s nothing of any real interest I can tell you about the 40 minute train journey except that there was a drunk guy telling another man to stop touching his leg. The number of times I hear “I’ve got a Mrs innit.” was enough to drive me insane.
Travelling at night with one of your best mates, there’s nothing quite like it. I love travelling at night anyway bit it was that much better because Charlie was there, giving me someone to actually talk to other than the voice in my head.
We could see The City from the window. The city is a square mile where all the major banks and businesses operate - it’s in Canary Wharf. We sae the London Eye, illuminated a beautiful shade of purple, right in front of the Movie-eum, where everything about British film is showcased for the public. Then there were the Houses of Parliament with Big Ben attached to them. It’s incredibly bittersweet for me go through the London Bridge/Westminster area of London. I love the gothic architecture - ok, so I don’t like what the buildings are there for but I can appreciate the look of them. They’re an impressive sight at night. It’s hard though because the hospital where my dad had had major heart surgery 2 weeks before I saw Green Day for the first time was just opposite it. Let’s just hope that that hospital isn’t affiliated with me seeing Green Day for the rest of my life.
We arrived in Charing Cross at 10 to 9. It was there that we transferred ourselves to the Underground so we could get to Brent Cross, where I was to meet the first of the GDCers of this weekend. After using the Underground for a total of now fourteen years, I still find it incredibly easy to get lost looking for the right line and making sure it goes to the station you want. Even at 9pm, the tube was incredibly busy, which it understandable considering it was a Friday night.
Charlie and I arrived at Brent Cross Underground station two hours after leaving my home county of Kent. At this point, it still hadn’t quite registered that this was actually happening. It still felt like a dream, one which could never transcend into reality. It was just something which never happened to me.
Here we were, just Charlie and I in a place we had never been before. Two girls who live out in the sticks had arrived in the urban end of suburbia. Alice was through the looking glass so to speak. Charlie and I had been to London together a few times before for Green Day, You Me At Six and other shows so it wasn’t like we were completely new to the experience of London.
I had sent a text to Mino when we arrived at the Underground station to tell her where we were. That was when I’d found out how the first of the GDC meet ups had gone. The Dinner had turned out to be an epic fail with only a few people showing. I guess that the majority of you decided to go to the Razorbax show instead.
It wasn’t as long as a walk form the Underground to the hotel as I first through. Well, to would have been a lot easier without the pillows but at least we were going to be putting them down soon.
Charlie and I walked into the car park to have a well deserved cigarette. Before I sparked up, I told Mino we were outside the main door so they could come out to us when they were ready to. A minutes after the text had been sent and my lighter was still unwilling to ignite, I glanced to the revolving doors and there she was. My Nele walking toward the doors. I can now say that the first GDCer I’d met was Nele. She ran out to me and we did the girly hug thing. As we pulled apart, I saw Mino coming toward me, jumping and screaming. I hugged her and Tanja as they had come out together and I didn’t really know who to hug first. Then Jen, the light of my life came running out wearing the most beautiful Dookie shirt and plaid pants I’d ever seen. We cuddled and jumped up and down before she introduced me to her friend Alex Vagina.
As Charlie and I smoked our finally lit cigarettes, the others went back inside to finish up their dinner.
“Is it going to be like this all weekend?” Charlie asked me as she acknowledged some stares we were getting from an elderly couple who were also having a smoke in the night air.
“Pretty much,” I answered.
That meeting could have gone one of two ways. We could have either been really awkward with each other or we could have been like we were. There was one awkward moment when we didn’t know what to do with ourselves but luckily that was the only one.
Jen and Alex Vagina showed Charlie and I up to the room we were going to be sleeping in the next night - Room 917. We went inside, telling Mino, Nele and Tanja that we would see them later on. We were then told that there was going to be a taxi waiting for us outside the hotel at half 11.
It was now 10:30 so we had an hour to get ourselves settled and get the party started. Jen quickly changed into the clothes she was going to be wearing for the show. Bring on another pair of beautiful plaid trousers and a Frustrators shirt along with the American Idiot musical hoodie.
While Alex was in the shower, Jen and I had the first of many GDC rape session. Charlie didn’t know what to do with herself. Jen and I were screaming so much with our fake orgasms that Alex Vagina came out of the bathroom to ask if we were alright. I’m sure everyone in the rooms adjacent to us thought that someone was being murdered. That sure would have mounted speculations considering there were police tents up across the road from us.
Jen, Charlie and I then sat ourselves down while Jen told us the story of how disastrous her journey over here had been with the flights and luggage. She then told us about when she bumped into Mike in Soho just a few days before. Since Jen has to be the biggest Mike Dirnt fan I’ve ever seen or have known of, I was genuinely happy for her.
All while this was happening, I was getting phone calls from Polly, Alex and Jamie, all asking where I was. It was good to be Queen, at least I’d have a welcome party, or so I thought but more on that later. I told them all what was going to be happening and when I would be arriving.
11:25 rolled around and the four of us walked out of 917, down to the lift for the foyer. When the lift arrived, there was already a woman standing inside. What she must have thought of the four of us, I don’t know.
“Going to the Stadium?” she asked in a thick German accent.
We told her that we were, seeing as there was really no point in lying. At least she knew that there was going to be something happening there.
“So is my daughter.” she replied. Of course, we asked her who her daughter was, hoping that we would know her. “Manon” she replied. Mino, your mum is lovely.
Mino’s mum left the lift on her floor and we carried on down to the ground floor. We all met in the foyer and waited for the taxi to arrive. I had my vodka, coke, sweets, phone, camera and everyone’s tickets that had been sent to my house. At last, I was ready to see Green Day. Nele came over to me and asked for her ticket since she wanted a decent night’s sleep before the show. I didn’t blame her really, I knew that I wasn’t going to sleep that night. There was no point in everyone being sleep deprived.
As we were leaving the hotel to go outside, Mino stopped me and gave me something I wasn’t expecting. My Queen of Wembley crown. Well, I guess people had to recognise me somehow. I still have it by the way, it’s a little crumpled from being in my pocket but I have it.
The six of us walked outside to where the taxis were waiting for us. We split up into groups of three. There was Mino, Tanja and Jen in one group, Charlie, Alex and I in the other. We were about to get into the car when I saw another GDC I had been dying to see; Sven. I was so happy to see him. He was on a list of people I could not leave Wembley without seeing. We had the biggest hug ever; I very almost cried a little but I didn’t want to start doing that just yet. Everyone said their hellos to Sven and got into the cars.
With another phone call from Jamie and Polly, I directed the driver to the stadium. What does it say about the driver if I found it easier to get to the Stadium than he did? I’d never been to Brent Cross or driven in North London before and I knew where we were going. Maybe I should have just driven us there myself.
It was almost midnight when we were eventually dropped off outside the Arena. After telling Jamie and Polly that I was at the Arena, I suggested to Alex and Charlie that we should find our queue. Drop that 808, the walls begin to shake. It’s too much for the club to take. It’s shaking like an earthquake. Another phone call form Jamie asking where I was. After I told him, he passed me on to Alex Penis and we talked for a while about who was there, how many people were camping out etc.
The three of us arrived at H/J to complete silence. I saw two tents; one pink and one black. The pink one was the GDC tent, the black one was the infamous rape tent. We looked around, a little confused when someone called my name out. I looked around and saw two people sitting on the ground, looking at me. It was Agija and Veronika inside the barricaded area we had to camp inside. After talking with them for a while, asking if they were alright and if they needed anything, I heard someone else call me over to them. Looking around, I saw two people huddled up near a turnstile. I walked over to them to see that it was Samantha and Taylor. Samantha had fixed it up do that we had a queuing system, numbering us so we all knew our place in line should anyone try to get in our way. Don’t fuck with hardcore Green Day fans was pretty much the mantra of the weekend, as security was going to find out in 9 hours time. More on that in a while.
After being numbered by Sammie; Charlie and I put down our bags of booze and happiness before rejoining Alex to go looking for some other GDCers. Drop that 808, the walls begin to shake. It’s too much for the club to take. It’s shaking like an earthquake. It was Jamie.
“Where are you? We all just ran down ready to bow down to you and everything!” My welcome party had failed too.
We arranged to meet back at H/J. Detective! A text message this time, from Polly.
“Where are you? I need my Tash :) xxx.”
I’ll tell you about meeting Polly in a second. I told her that I would be round at her entrance in a moment, after meeting everyone else.
"Tasha!”
I turned around to see Holly, Alex Penis, Jen, Mino Tanja and Jamie. I hugged the new people, feeling incredibly elated to see them at last. Jamie was already drunk, now that’s what I like to see, people drunk upon my arrival. We then stood in a circle, laughing and joking. Most people go to bars on a Friday night, we just go to Wembley Stadium. We were real men and women, braving the cold. Either that or we were stupid. Feel free to take your pick.
“Yoink!”, the crown was lifted off of my head.
“What the fuck?” I asked, turning round to see one of the security guards running away with my crown, “Excuse me.” I said to the group before running after the guy. “Don’t you know who I am?” I screamed, feeling instant gratification for sing that phrase with some validation. I chased him about 20 yards before jumping him.
“What are you then?” he asked as he gave the crown back.
“I’m the Queen of Wembley” I answered with a grin on my face.
“Ah, I’ll keep that in mind.” he said as we parted ways.
It was then that people were starting to feel the cold. I don’t really know why but I felt perfectly fine, if a little hot in the jacket I was wearing. Noticing that Charlie was a bit colder than the rest of us. I offered my jacket to her. She was reluctant to at first but took it after I said to her that I would tell her if I needed it back.
“Let’s go to B/C!” I suggested, wanting to see Polly, she too was on my list of people to see.
So the group of us headed over toward B/C, taking photos of each other as we did so.
“No!” Jen screamed, “You’ll never get me.” Off she ran.
Again, like in the hotel, I was determined to get photograph of her. The chase was on. We ran, winding ourselves around, I was falling out of my bra - a little foreboding for the run we were going to be doing for the show. I thought I had won and gotten a photo of her but it turns out that the photo was too dark for me to be able to see anything. Damn.
Drop that 808, the walls begin to shake. It’s too much for the club to take. It’s shaking like an earthquake. It was Polly asking where we were. I’d forgotten to tell her that I was on my way over. I’d just walked past Entrance C so told Polly that I would see her in a minute or two. Y’know in some films, there’s a shot of a group of people walking down a street set to intimidating music? Normally it’s Back in Black by AC/DC. I felt a little like that. GDCers, well, the H/J crew as I’ve called them, were a force to be reckoned with. I think either Christian’s Inferno or Horseshoes and Hand Grenades was playing in my head at the time. Either way, it was a brilliant moment in my head.
“Tash!” I was in high demand so it seems.
Looking ahead of me, I saw a worm. No, it was Polly in her sleeping bag and boy beanie. Completely ignoring the group I was with, I sprinted over to Polly who was jumping over to me, or trying to. I an over to her and we cuddled like we had never cuddled before. Well, we hadn’t cuddled before but that’s not the point. Polly’s my best friend on GDC so as you can tell, it was an emotional moment. When you’ve been talking to someone who has been the making of you for 8 months without ever meeting them, the first meeting is something which takes a lot to get over. While Polly and I were cuddling, Rosie and Matt were trying to say hi to me. Sorry if I looked like I was ignoring you guys, getting emotional hinders my conversational skills.
After the epicness that was meeting Polly, Rosie and Matt, our original group took the trek back to H/J. Looking behind us, Jamie noticed that the security guards were following us. Not really wanting to fight with my new friend over my crown again, I took it off and put it in my pocket. Security was beginning to tell people to stay in the pen outside the turnstiles. We weren’t going to start a riot the night before a Green Day show, we’re not that stupid.
When we got back to our pen, security told us that they would be back at 4:30 to wake us up and move us to the ramp we were to be queuing at. We settled ourselves next to the GDC tent and rape tent to talk. We stayed there for half an hour before realising that we were going to freeze, being exposed to the wind. Starting to feel the cold myself, I curled myself up on the ground between Charlie and Jamie, Being a drunken sweetie pie, Jamie offered his hoodie to me for a while. My Sixx that thing was warm.
Eventually we moved ourselves to a turnstile since it was more sheltered than the place we were sitting in. Alex Penis and Holly laid themselves on the floor. Mino and Tanja were facing out into the pen, leaning on the turnstile. Alex Vagina was sat in the corner while Jen, Charlie, me and Jamie sat ourselves opposite Alex Penis and Holly. This was the place where most of the bonding happened, where the H/J crew established itself. Sat there on the floor, all huddled together like little penguins, Alex Vagina suggested that we played a word game to help pass the time. As you can imagine, that get very dirty very quickly. What did you expect? We’re Green Day fans, perversion is a must.
Soon the fun of the perverted word game came to an end and we returned to the conversations we were havg before, smoking the ciarettes, drinking the booze. That was Lushotology at its finest there. Jamie left the group for a moment to get something from the rape tent. A minute later, he returned with an acoustic guitrar. What is Lushotology without music after all?
We sang Dominated Love Slave, Like A Rat Does Cheese and small parts of other songs. Then, Mino took the guitar and the H/J crew’s theme song came out. I’m the son of rage and love, the Jesus of Suburbia. To me, singing the whole of Jesus of Suburbia with these people was one of the most perfect moments of the weekend outside of the show. I wouldn’t be able to do that sort of thing with my friends back here in Kent. Charlie is pretty much the only friend here in reality who likes Green Day close to the level that I do. She gets my obsession with this band because she’s the same about You Me At Six. Here were seven people I’d only met two hours before, they understood me. They got me and why I love Green Day so much. No one else is going to get that about me, ever.
Everyone is going to say this about their own queue but on H/J we bonded. It was “party central” as Polly put it. On GDC there was a little family going on with all of us because we were all in the same place together but meeting these people in person validated that all the more, for me at least.
Everyone fell asleep at around half three in the morning but it was too cold for me to even think about sleep. I sat in front of the group staring out into the Wembley skyline. You could say that I was guarding my little family. I certainly won’t dispute that. If I wasn’t going to be able to sleep, I might as well have looked out for the people who could.
With another cigarette to keep me warm, my mind wandered to what was going to be happening later that day. I didn’t have expectations, I never have done when it comes to Green Day. They’ve always surpassed themselves and this show wasn’t to be any different.
This was going to be the show of a lifetime, not just got me or the people sleeping behind me but for every one of those 71,000 people in the stadium, the crew, the families, the back up bands, the support bands and for Green Day. For me, this was going to be the show that I would tell my grandchildren about with pride. I’ve already told my nephew about it, though he’s 6 months old. I’m sure he was just humouring me by making little noises. East Jesus Nowhere makes him happy though so expect me to bring him to shows in a few years.
Feeling emotional and disbelieving that this was actually happening, I left my family behind to go on a little walk. I ended up in front of the B/C pen talking to Polly. Even though she wasn’t on H/J with us she was and is still part of my family. As the first friend I made on GDC, she always will be very dear to me. I couldn’t think of anyone else I would rather have gone to when I was emotional about the show and other things. Polly, she understands me, knows me inside out. She’s like my best friend Anne, she keeps me grounded and brings out the better in me.
It was almost 5am when I got back to H/J. When I’d gotten close to it, I noticed that the pen was empty. Walking up to the entrance, I saw a black and grey tent sitting at the top of a ramp. At first, I assumed it was the rape tent since this tent was the same colour, but getting closer to it, this tent was a little smaller. I then saw Sammie’s red hoodie at the from of the line. At least I knew that this was my line. Everyone in my group had dispersed so I was essentially alone. When I found my bag of stuff, I sat down in front of it. Thank you to whoever moved it. Looking through it, I saw that my vodka bottle had been taken. I can understand why that is but I would have liked to get a little more out of it. At least the Coke which I was using as a mixer was still there so I could get the dry taste of cigarettes out of my mouth.
The cold was beginning to get to me, even with a jacket on. At that point, I was feeling incredibly drained. The cold has that effect on me. I felt so brittle and fragile. The only thing that stopped me complaining so much was that later on, during the show, I would be begging for the cold air. The thought of that show was the only thing stopping me from saying “Fuck this cold, I’m going home.” Of course, I would have been back later, closer to the show, but in my mind I would have missed out on seeing other people.
The cold was making time pass so slowly. The sun had already risen but it wasn’t going to hit H/J until late morning. I was grateful to see the sunrise again, to see a hazy light against the white walls of the Arena opposite. It’s moments like that, where I stood alone, looking out at the world that I realised how beautiful London could be. I don’t call many things beautiful but a serene, almost deserted London on a Saturday morning was truly impressive.
Charlie and Jen came back to H/J after they had done a circuit of the Stadium and asked if I wanted to go and get some coffee. Looking for the warmth rather than the liquid, I agreed to go with them. We got as far as the Arena when I got a text message from Anja asking where I was since he wanted to have her ticket. Looking at my phone, I noticed that my battery was close to dying. Maybe I should have charged it when I was at the hotel with Charlie, Jen and Alex Vagina the night before. Letting Jen and Charlie carry on, I turned back and headed up to H/J.
Walking up the ramp with the cold ransacking my joints and central nervous system was Hell on Earth. Why I kept doing it to myself, I don’t know but if I walked up the steps again instead, it would have killed me. I’d rather not have been carried off on a stretcher before the show. The thought of that show was the source of my determination every time the cold got the better of me, when the pain in my legs was getting crippling. There was no way that something as stupid as nature was going to stop me from seeing this band. I had waited far too long.
Anja was waiting for me where I had been sitting in the line. We said hello and cuddled before I handed her ticket over. We talked for a little while before she went back to B/C to start her waiting. My phone had run out of battery at this point so I had no concept of the time and no way of contacting people. Isolation like that was nice but slightly unnerving. I guess you have no concept of how sucked in by it you are until you’re away from it all, isolated from the world. Sure, having a dead phone presented its problems but in terms of the show it was good that I didn’t have it on.
Another two hours passed, huddled in the cold summer morning before an event happened which was going to be an issue for the rest of the day. The queuing system, as I’m sure some of you will agree, was ridiculous. It was so unorganised. Believe me, we could have done such a better job, and we did for that over night period. Going through the thread, you‘ll see just how organised Green Day fans are. It‘s almost like we‘re machines, organising our own chaos. Allow me to tell you the story of the H queue.
It was approximately 7am when a few of us noticed a small queue forming in front of the H turnstiles. Understandably, this made a few of us feel not only confused but also agitated. Did it not say on all the tickets [unless you were in seats] that we had to queue on a specific ramp? On H/J tickets, did it not say that we all had to queue on the south-east ramp? We 50 people were sitting on that ramp where we were supposed to be, freezing our extremities off, while they were sitting in front of the turnstiles. We weren’t going to let that slide, least of all, Sammie, the catalyst of our group. She is the Caucasian female version Malcolm X, let me tell you that now. Except for the fact that she isn’t dead. So Sammie gathered a group of us together and we went in search of security.
“I want answers and I am going to fucking get them.”
Like I said earlier, don’t fuck with Green Day fans. There must have been about fifteen of us in total walking around the stadium looking for security. Eventually, we found them at B/C and we literally ran to them. Seriously, we ran. We needed to catch them while they were still there, we weren’t going to chase them all around the damn building. Sammie did the majority of the talking which worked in our favour since security said that they were going to sort it out. I know for a fact that if I did it then it would have sounded like I was whining, only with a raspy voice from the cigarettes and vodka.
While Sammie was talking to security, I looked over the B/C queue to see where everyone had ended up in terms of the line. That was when I saw a mass of blonde hair with bright pink in it.
“Is that Bubbles?” Charlie asked me.
We had only ever seen Bubbles on webcam when her nephew Jack would come in and ask her if she was on Skype with Billie Joe. She was, only Sven was Billie Joe. I called out to Bubbles, feeling excited as I did so. Meeting you guys was so surreal since there wasn’t a computer in the way and I could actually touch you [yes, in the sexual manner as Kryssi found out later].
She turned, looking a little confused and saw me. She ran out of the line and we had a long cuddle before she told me that she had been camping out for four days and still wasn’t at the front of her line, which was ridiculous. She looked absolutely frozen, bless her and so tired. I knew how that was, sleeping outside with strangers wasn‘t easy. After a while, I let her get back to the warmth of her blanket as Charlie and I walked back round to H/J.
It was around 9am when my brain started screaming for sleep. Sammie very kindly let me use her tent so the wind didn’t fuck me up anymore than it was already doing so. Jen, Alex Vagina and Mino had gone back to the hotel so they could shower and get some warmer clothes for themselves. Charlie came in the tent with me since I didn’t want to be on my own and she wanted to try and get some more sleep.
After about an hour or so of dozing, we decided that proper sleep wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Leaving the tent, we made the decision to go find some food, it had well been over 12 hours since I’d eaten anything at all, which was probably why I was so cold. By this time, Jen and Alex Vagina had returned from the hotel. Mino had settled herself down in the queue with Tanja and wasn’t planning on moving again except for the toilet and leaving for early entry. The rest of our group had also come back from wherever they had been, either sleeping or walking around Wembley.
It was around this time that the queuing descended into chaos. To be honest, this was the one thing I’m going to hate writing about because it made me so frustrated. The Crowd Safety Patrol came down in their little orange hi-vis and looked at us before doing something which the overnight security should have done hours ago. They took the people outside Entrance H and moved them. Hooray! However, where did these people decide to move them to? Right next to us at the front.
Allow me to complain for a moment. This made me angry, beyond angry. I did not sit outside in the freezing cold for 10 hours for people who turned up at 7am to get ahead of me in line. No. Everyone knows how a line works, in chronological order from first to last in terms of when people arrive. It’s a system which has been operating for hundreds, if not thousands of years. These Crowed Safety people obviously did not grasp this concept, even with the protestation from some us. The guys in front of me had been there since the day before, they were pissed. Then what did they do? They merged the two queues forward and told us to move back. We weren’t going to move. This happened at a You Me at Six show, the queue was moved and little scrotes worked their way to the front of the line. This is why I say no one fucks with Green Day fans, we stood our ground and refused to move, we would have caused a huge scene if it was completely necessary. Luckily, it wasn‘t. For now, we had won the debate. So what did I do? I went and had about 3 cigarettes to calm down.
While I was having a cigarette, Sammie came outside to stand with me. She was crying so I did all I could, I cuddled her and told her not to worry since we’d get all of this sorted. I don’t know how much of a comfort I was to her at that time. I hope I was enough. She soon left and was taken off by some of the security. At the time, I did shit myself a little thinking she had been taken off of the premises but she had only gone to see the Head of Security. Half an hour later she had returned and said that the people who had been numbered by her and Taylor were going to get in first. That was one less thing to worry about now at least.
Jen, Alex Vagina, Charlie and I decided to go on a wander around Wembley for ourselves. Charlie had remembered that there was an Asda somewhere near us so we naturally went looking for that since they would have a blanket in there we could use to warm up. Finding the shop was a feat in itself since none of us could remember where it was even though we had been driven past it the night before. The sun was in my face for the entire search. Like a sunflower, I poked my head out of the blanket and hooded jacket looking for some warmth. Feeling the warmth of the UV rays on my skin, I felt warmer instantly. Still with Holly’s blanket wrapped around me and snuggled in Jamie’s hoodie, I shuffled up a hill behind the rest of my group. Sixx knows how I must have looked but I didn’t care, it was the only way I could have kept warm. Walking up the hill either way made me somewhat warmer, so much so that I took the blanket off of me for the first time in eight hours.
Was it warm in Asda? Not particularly but at least there was no wind in there to take away the little heat I was holding inside of me. We didn’t find any blankets, but we did find a chair to take back to the line and sit on. Alex Vagina bought herself a bottle of water to keep herself hydrated. It didn’t seem like a bad idea but I was going to wait until I had food before I got a drink.
We took full advantage of the fact that there was a McDonalds near us. Though apparently, every other Green Day fan in the area had decided to do so as well. It was so weird seeing that many Green Day fans in one space at one time. I wasn’t used to it since I don’t live near any Green Day fans apart from Charlie so it was all a little surreal.
The food was cold and the drink was colder so if I wanted warmth, I wasn’t going to get it until later on. Though I was grateful for the fact that I was actually eating something which wasn’t a sweet or a crisp. Substantial it wasn’t but at least it was going to stop me from collapsing from dehydration and low blood sugar.
We walked back to the ramp to see that the queue had been moved yet again. It had grown wider and longer as H queue was merged with us again and brought forwards. Everyone looked so cramped. There was no way that it could have been safe. If I could tell that, what would that say about the “Safety Team”? Rather than going into the mass of people to where our group was sitting, Charlie and I stayed outside to eat and have a cigarette. Jen and Alex Vagina went in to give our group the food that they’d asked for and to save us our place in there.
It was out there on the ramp that I met a few more GDCers. Charlie and I were sat on the ground against the concrete wall to shield ourselves from the wind when I saw someone running toward me. I had another look at them before I stood up. The girl was slim, stunningly beautiful and had the most amazing purple hair I had ever seen. It was my dearest Emily, one of the only other GDCers from my area that I knew of. She had come down with Caroline as they were waiting in line together over at M/N. We both had a cuddle and a squeal and a little jump around with excitement. Emily was so warm that I didn’t want to let go.
While Emily and I were talking about how we’d been and how long we’d been there, Alice came down wearing her Sailor hat. Admittedly, I did have to take another look at her since I wasn’t that sure. That was the ting with me, I was so confident that I’d know what you all look like in reality but that day, I sucked. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was the fact that I was slightly hungover but still, I was a little cautious before saying to someone “Are you so and so from GDC?”.
After only a few minutes, everyone left and Charlie and I made our way to our group. We had to enter from the side, even though we were at the front of the line. For some unknown reason, the crowd control wouldn’t let us in from the front. By the way, if I kicked you on the way through, I apologise. I did ask some people if they could move a little so we could get through but they ignored us and carried on with their conversations.
Charlie and I got back to our group and settled down when Holly and Alex were playing with some balloons that they had had. There was a small pink one which had been given a face, drawn with a Sharpie. It looked like Graham from the Jeremy Kyle show, thus, with this comment, Jeremy Kyle: The Balloon Edition was born.
Jeremy Kyle is a little like Jerry Springer, except the fights aren‘t allowed to be televised. It’s just as scandalous though. We made up a little segment of the show, which I think was called “At 12 years old, I have 7 kids, does that make me a whore?” Alex Penis was Jeremy, Alex Vagina was Graham and Holly was the 12 year old mum of 7. We worked from a little theory we had that Jeremy had a man crush on the after care specialist of the show, Graham so every guest we had wanted to have sex with Graham and Jeremy would get jealous and force his way in to making it a threesome.
After the first episode, tragedy stuck. Holly hit the Jeremy balloon and it floated off. It went off outside the line and over to the wall. Then a gust of wind picked up the balloon and sent it over the railings to balloon suicide. It was a sad moment. We cried. Everyone around us looked at each other and then us as if we were complete psychopaths, which we are.
Balloon Jeremy was replaceable though and we soon had a new host of the show, now played by Charlie. Whilst the new Jeremy and the next guest [Balloon Chav Boy] were being made, Holly made the decision to take Balloon Graham and Balloon Chav Girl and put them up her t-shirt. Her instant boob job looked marvellous. We acted out another segment we had called “I wank over Graham, deal with it Jeremy.”
The sun had finally hit the south east ramp when we ended Balloon Jeremy Kyle. The sun felt wonderful and warm. I finally took off Jamie’s hoodie and handed it back to him so I could lie in the sun, getting as much heat into my body as I could.
Before I made myself comfortable, I heard someone call my name. I looked around, seeing no one. They called my name again and up above us was Rebecca. I couldn’t get up to see her but I said hello and asked how she was. That was when, she gave me a huge packet of Maryland Cookies, bless her. Those cookies were shared by Alex Penis and I, we thoroughly enjoyed them. Rebecca couldn’t stay for long as security moved her on, even though she was in the same queue as us though just a little further down from where we were. She went round to the side and asked us to sign the flag which she had brought with her. After we had signed her flag, Rebecca was moved on again and I didn’t see her again, which was a little sad to say the least. It would have been nice to be able to talk to her more.
Our group went back to conversations about some of the other people who were around us. People around us had been playing Green Day songs, which was good, but they were only playing the singles and skipping the album tracks. So in a bid of retaliation, we sang Dominated Love Slave, All by Myself and Blood Sex and Booze. It was good to be able to sing a song that loaded with sex in public without being judged for it. That same feeling would come back during the show.
“Tasha!” I heard. I looked around, seeing where the voice was coming from. Then, I saw her. Standing on the other side of the cordon tape was this embodiment of amazing. The woman who I’d gotten so close to before the show and so badly wanted to see. There she was, with John Roecker and Mikey Brannon naked across her chest. There was my Kryssi. Standing next to her, was a woman who I’d been having wonderfully sexual conversations with and generally made me smile. Standing next to Kryssi was Roni, one of the only women I would go gay for.
Honestly, I was so excited to see them that I left my group without saying anything to them. Inside, I was screaming with happiness, though my physical appearance I guess wasn’t really showing it. Ducking under the tape, I cuddled Kryssi and Roni, so happy that I could see some of my baby dolls from the Family of Misfit Toys. The Misfit Toys are wonderful souls from GDC whom I love dearly, as much as I love the Wembley family.
Kryssi, Roni and I talked outside the line for a while as they were waiting for a taxi to take them back to Brent Cross as Kryssi had come out without her ticket. Kryssi told me about sound check as she had been at the Stadium the night before when Green Day were playing their sound check. Jammy git, but I love her that way. The loves of my life soon left to go and wait outside the Arena to wait for their taxi and I went back into the line to wait with the crew some more.
Everyone had settled down and were lying on each other to rest up for the show. Ok, well I was laying with my head on Jen’s lap and Alex Vagina was using my boob as a pillow while Alex Penis was on the other side. It was a beautiful clean orgy. We all had a small photo session so we all had photos of and with each other. If there’s one thing I regret about this show, it would be only one thing. I wish that I had photos with everyone I met at that show, just so I could look at you all and remember that we had a little moment together. It may have been a small moment we spent together but still, you guys are my family and I love you all.
With my head in Jen’s lap, I finally felt warm. Maybe I just needed the body heat from someone who was actually warm. I guess Jen is a naturally hot blooded human being. Between her and the sun, the heat made me feel somewhat alive again after been in the cold for longer than 12 hours.
Holly asked Jen if she could look at the tour book, to see if it was any different from the winter leg of the tour. It wasn’t, as I’m sure you all know, but it was nice to hear Holly’s commentary of the pictures. I remember making a comment about how Holly made it sound like a bed time story. With that comment, Jen took the book from Holly and made up a brilliant story about Billie Joe being a damsel in distress and Mike being the knight in shining armour who rescues Billie Joe from Tré’s evil clutches. it’s too bad that I can’t remember how it all goes but it was an amazing story.
With the laughs and the conversation and the general cuddles, the time came when we all had to prepare to go inside the Stadium. Everyone stood up and gathered their things together, tossing their rubbish to one side where it would be cleared up when we were inside. Jen and Alex Vagina took this chance to take one last trip to the bathroom. Alex left her carrier bag with Charlie and I while she went to the toilet with Jen.
While they were gone, the security decided to let us go down to the turnstiles early. With a death grip on my back from Charlie and another on Alex Vagina’s bag, I made my way down through the crowd of people to the pen we were going to be held in until the turnstile was opened.
My heart was pounding so hard that my chest began to hurt. Every ounce of heat left my body as I felt myself flush out. I could feel that I was shaking. My legs felt like jelly and I could barely stand but I had the insane urge to run. My throat was closing. I couldn’t breathe. Anxiety was kicking in but I couldn’t let it get the better of me since I’d been out in the cold for so long. In that Stadium was going to be warmth and Green Day. They were all I wanted.
Afraid that Alex Vagina and Jen weren’t going to be back by the time we went inside, I pulled over one of the crowd control women and asked her to hold onto the bag for Alex. Then I described what she looked like and what Jen looked like before the woman took the bag from me and said that she would look after it until they came back through the pen.
Then, the pen was opened. Everyone ran over to the turnstile. With my ticket out, I waited behind someone who was just about to scan their ticket. The light above the turnstile went green, the metal gate unlocked and the person disappeared. Finally, it was my turn. I got to the turnstile and put my barcode in the scanner. The light stayed red. This wasn’t happening. I took my ticket out and tried again, the light was still red. With a gentle kick to the metal wall, the light turned green and the gate was unlocked, I was on my way.
“Tasha! Where’s the carrier bag?”
Shit. The woman hadn’t given the bag to Jen and Alex Vagina. I told Jen who I had given the bag to and said that I would see her inside as I could see Charlie coming through the turn stile. I ran through the concourse, down to the opening which led to the Stadium itself. I came through the opening and was taken aback at the sheer size of the place. It looked so much smaller on the TV than it did in real life. Fighting my awe, I carried on running to the top of a set of steps. The steps were so shallow, it was almost impossible to run down them without falling. However, somehow I managed to do the run intact. I was sprinting for my life. Acid was burning in the muscles of my legs but I didn’t care. This was Green Day I was going to be seeing, pain was nothing compared to that.
At the bottom of the steps, we had to go round and through a metal gateway which was beside the stage. On my way through, I looked at the black curtain and wondered if the boys were behind it watching the Stadium fill up. Once I was through the gateway, that was it, I ran for my life, ignoring every person who told us to stop running. There was a gap at the end of the catwalk and I went for it, determined that I was going to get it. The gap was behind Mino. I screamed with joy that I was going to be with her for the show. I mad Mino, Brian and Rita in front of me and I was next to Tanja. Surrounded by Germans with a dash of Portuguese. It was brilliant. I was so stoked to be so close to the stage.
I turned, about to say something to Charlie, as we always do once we’ve got our spot at a show. When I turned, she wasn’t there. I looked all around me to see faces that I didn’t know or hadn’t recognised. Charlie was no where to be seen. Anxiety kicked in again. Due to my phone being out of battery, I had no idea of finding out where she was or if she was even alright. For those two moments, I was going to be technically alone for the show, the first time I wasn’t going to be able to talk to the people I had come to the show with. I wasn’t afraid as such but I didn’t really like the situation and I wouldn’t while I had the time to think about it.
My mind cast back to the You Me at Six show we had been to earlier on in the year. The pit had been violent and we had to be pulled out before Forever the Sickest Kids came on. Charlie was shaken up badly by that. I was hoping that this pit wouldn’t be as violent as that. Somehow, I don’t think I would be able to live with the guilt if the same thing had happened at this show and I wasn‘t there.
“Tash, you have a camera don’t you?” Mino asked, snapping me out of my anxiety and paranoia over Charlie‘s safety, “Let’s have a photo.”
Mino took my camera from me since she had more room to move and she took a photo of Brian, her and me all together at the barrier. After that, I took the opportunity to take a photo of the stage, the people behind me and to the sides of me. The Stadium was going to take a long time to fill, which meant that there was a lot of time for the support act to come on. Looking around, I saw a blown up condom floating around in the ait, there was an inflatable football being passed around to my right. The things you see in a Green Day crowd aren’t really that surprising if you’re a Green Day fan. I think I saw someone spark up a joint but I can’t be too sure on that one. It wouldn’t surprise me though.
While we were waiting, a few of us in the crowd took the opportunity to scope out the security since we were going to be looking at them for a while throughout the night. There was one who looked like Kenan from the Nickelodeon show Kenan and Kel. Another we spoke to, Rick, was a man who I would soon come to insult since he liked to get in the way of every photograph I took. Though, he did create a moment in a photo of Billie Joe I have. Apart from those two, the security either stayed away or didn’t speak to us.
Forty five minutes soon passed. The Stadium was barely half full but already I was feeling a little crowded. Normally, if I felt crowded, I would leave but I think when you need to be in a crowd, you just deal with the issues and anxieties that you have. In that capacity it was a mind over matter thing for anxiety, it didn’t mind and I didn’t matter. Anxiety and I had to coexist since I wasn’t going to let my chemical imbalance screw this night up for me.
Professional photographers for magazines and Greenday.com came out, up onto the stage to take photos and video footage of everything going on. As they came round, people would scream and put their hands in the air to catch the attention of the camera, making sure that they could be seen. I guess it makes it easier to find yourself when the photos are released and you look for yourself. The photographers took a lot of photos of the section of crowd I was in, purely because we were at the front and photographers tend the favour the end of the catwalk when they do live photosets.
When the photographers left to change lenses and prepare for the bands, we all returned to waiting and soaking up the atmosphere of other people being around them. Since these people were going to be around me for almost 4 hours, it would make sense for me to get some what acquainted with them, just in case something went horribly wrong and I would need to be pulled out of the pit or vice versa. While I was looking around to see how full the stands actually were, people began to cheer. I looked all around be to see hands go up in the air, welcoming people onto the stage. I turned and saw Frank Turner’s band walk onto the stage to take up their instruments and positions.
“This is it.” I said to myself, “This is going to be the best night of my life.”
Unfortunately, I can’t really go in depth into the supporting acts as a lot of documentation I made on the sets and audience participation was on Green Day. I’ll do my best though to go on what little I do have for Frank Turner and Joan Jett. If I do leave something out, it’s likely that I’ve forgotten that part of the show and it wasn’t intentional
Frank Turner strode onto the stage and approached the microphone at the base of the catwalk. I could sense a little fear radiating from him but since I run and cower at the very thought of going on the smallest stage ever, I would have felt afraid to. Playing Wembley Stadium, as an almost unknown is a huge feat and I’m so happy that Green Day gave him the chance to be able to do so.
The show was the first real exposure I had to Frank’s music so I didn’t really have any expectations as I did for Joan Jett. I think I prefer not to have an exposure to a support before a show because then you can enjoy the set without waiting for a certain song, you just go with the flow of the set so to speak.
Frank introduced himself and his band before going into the first song of his list entitled The Real Damage. Some girls behind me were really big fans of Frank’s so they were singing along with every song, as were a lot of people in the crowd. When you hear a crowd sing a song, it always sounds amazing. Even if there’s a lot of bad singing voices in the crowd, they have a way of blending in and harmonising with the rest of the voices. I love that the most about a show, this aural display of unity.
Frank’s music was amazing to listen to. The lyrics were so heartfelt and so honest about life. It was refreshing to listen to as essentially an outsider of that fandom. Even the titles of the songs were incredibly poetic like Poetry of the Dead and Reasons Not to Be An Idiot.
The first song of his that I knew in the set was Long Live The Queen. I’ll tell you something a little odd. When this song started, I thought of my Wembley family. Jamie had said to me before the show on Skype and in the thread for the show that this should be the anthem for me, because I’m awesome and y’know, the Queen of the Wembley thread. While this song was playing and I was clapping along, I did have a little bit of a cry to myself since I knew that it was going to be a long time until I saw any of you again after that weekend.
During The Road, more and more people in the crowd were singing along, dancing and clapping. In terms of a warm up act, Frank really was amazing. He was interacting with us a lot, getting us to clap and sing and asking us if we were all alright and excited for Green Day. How he created intimacy in a venue like that truly was amazing. He reminded me a little of Billie Joe in that sense. If the runway wasn’t covered up with plastic, I know he would have been running up and down there as if he were Billie Joe. You could see that he wanted to throw himself around the stage but there wasn’t really any opportunity to since he had to plat to a certain time for the whole show to run smoothly and on time, just in case Green Day decided to extend their show past the curfew.
“Have we got time for one last song?” Frank asked, knowing full well that he had but just wanted to ask anyway. We cheered. I could have quite happily had him play up until Green Day were going to come on. I was enjoying his music, how it wasn’t the kind of vibe that I would usually go for in music. I liked that it could be branded as Easy Listening since it’s the kind of music you can relax to, though it does have a kick to it in the lyrics.
“I need everyone to count to four. We’re going to do it like musicians ok? 1,2, 1, 2, 3, 4, alright?” He said with a smile on his face. We were given the cue by Frank and went on with the count in of our own.
The last song Frank played was Photosynthesis, the song I think most people at the show were familiar with as it is a favourite amongst fans of frank’s and it had been getting some air time before the show. It is now actually my favourite song of his, along with Long Live the Queen. People around me were singing along and clapping to the rhythm. Admittedly, I felt a little out of place for not knowing the words to the song but I wasn’t going to feel like that for long.
“I want you to put your hands up in the air if you know the words to this song.” Frank instructed then paused as people raised their hands, “So-so, alright then,” he continued, “We’re gonna have a lesson to teach the rest of you, then we’re all gonna sing together.”
For our lesson, Frank took the role of Billie Joe Armstrong for a moment as he sang the lines I won’t sit down, I won’t shut up and most of all I will not grow up. When he was finished, we repeated the lines, filling the Stadium with a beautiful sounding rebellion. We repeated the cycle a couple of times before Frank silenced us for a moment.
“You’ve gotta be louder than Manchester the other day.” he said with a cheeky grin.
If I remember right, we were louder than Manchester. Frank said it himself but for all we know, it could have been a lie to make us feel better if we fell flat on our faces with it. Mind you, there were more people at Wembley than Manchester.
When the song ended, Frank introduced us to the members of his band and bade us farewell. Before leaving the stage, he and his band turned their backs on us and posed for a photograph in front of the crowd, I’m assuming for his website or a magazine spread. Frank left the stage to the sound of applause and we were now left buzzing with adrenaline for the next support act: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
Another photographer and camera man came out to photograph and film the crowd as the Stadium had filled out a little more while Frank Turner was on. The amount of cameras made me wonder if the show was going to be filmed for a DVD or something but unless a security guard or someone mentioned it, I wasn’t going to get my hopes up on that one.
Two guitar technicians took to the stage to tune the guitars which Joan and her band were going to be using and also testing the microphones to check the levels with the sound production team. For some strange reason, people always seem to cheer when guitar technicians go onto a stage. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the allure of a musician… or it’s just that the technician is a regular and people recognise them from a previous show or tour.
There was a half an hour gap between Frank and Joan, so the stage could be set up and the instruments could be taken care of. The Stadium erupted when Joan and The Blackhearts walked out onto the stage. When I saw Joan, I’ll admit that I thought she looked fantastic. The whole band was pretty attractive but then I had to remember that this was a rock concert, not a beauty pageant.
The band powered into Bad Reputation, a song most people would know from the Shrek film or other media as well as a remix done by Peaches called I Don’t Give A Fuck. I love that Joan started with a song people knew so we could get in the mood to get down and dirty with some quality music. People were dancing and singing, really letting themselves go. The set got off to a good start and I was thinking that it could only get better.
From Bad Reputation, we went onto Cherrybomb, another of Joan’s biggest hits. Significantly less people were singing because we didn’t know the song that well apart from the ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry Bomb line. I remember looking over at Tanja and her shaking her head at me as if to say “Get this woman off the stage, I want Green Day.”
It seemed like Tanja wasn’t the only one who weren’t warming to Joan’s set. She played a song by The Runaways called School Days. Of course, because The Runaways aren’t that well known to us Brits anymore, hardly any of us knew the song. It was the same with every other song in the set list until I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll. When that song was played toward the end of the set, the crowd was just like it had been when Joan first started. We were all dancing on each other and singing, it was amazing to be in that pit when that song was being played. It was just a shame that it wasn’t like that constantly since the potential was there.
I think people’s attention span was beginning to waver slightly during the set and Joan, for me, wasn’t doing a whole lot to keep our attention. She would talk to introduce songs but that was pretty much the only interaction we had with her. It became apparent that she wasn‘t entirely happy with the crowd because of the lack of interaction but there really wasn‘t a connection there for me. Maybe it was just a bad show for her, or we just weren‘t as into her as maybe other venues had been. Then again, if that wasn’t the case then I don’t think anyone would have seen Adrienne Nesser at the side of the stage with Michael Meyers during I Want You. I waved at Adrienne and she waved back at me, which was pretty awesome. I love Adrienne, she’s an incredibly beautiful woman.
“I wanna play this song for Mike Dirnt.” Joan started when Do You Wanna Touch Me? had come to an end. With the mention of Green Day’s bassist, the Stadium erupted into cheers, “We were talking about this song a couple of days ago and he said ‘It feels like it’s about me.’ So this is for Mikey.” That was the introduction to Victim of Circumstance, which was a really good song I think.
Joan’s set ended with a rendition of Crimson Clover, an incredibly beautiful song I thought, though not one I would have ended the set with. If it were me I would have ended it with I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll but that’s just me. Like Frank before them, Joan and The Blackhearts turned their backs to us and posed for a couple of photographs in front of the crowd before leaving the stage.
When the band left the stage, I felt my heart begin to pound again. It felt as though my head was full of water making me feel extremely top heavy. My blood thrashed through my temples, bringing on the worst headache I think I could have gotten at that moment. As a precaution, I asked for some water to keep myself hydrated. The moment I had a mouthful of water in my mouth, I felt my whole body tense.
“I need to get out.” a voice in my head was saying, “I’m gonna die in here, I need to get out.” It was at that point that I was well on my way to having a panic attack, if I wasn’t having one already. I was more than ready to admit defeat and get out of the pit.
How the hell I stayed in that pit with my anxiety being that bad, I don’t know. It had never been that bad before because I’d always avoided it. To this day, I still don’t know how I managed to ignore it and the pain shooting through my chest.
In the ten minutes after Joan Jett’s set, the plastic covering was removed from the runway. A curtain was dropped from the back of the stage to show Tré’s drum kit on a raised platform. Behind all of that, was Green Day’s city night back drop. It was all beginning to seem so real now, a little too real, too good to be true. I was still waiting for someone to wake me from this dream.
It wasn’t going to be long until Green Day were going to grace the stage. It felt like I was about to die and be accepted into Heaven. It’s an odd analogy but I feel like that with all shows. The moment the doors close on a show, that’s it, we are in our own little world with each other and with the band. With me, nothing exists outside the walls of the building. No other people are on the Earth. It’s just the band and this crowd.
My excitement and anxiety were starting to get the better of me. It felt as though I was about to collapse but I wasn’t going to let myself. I had gotten myself to this point, right in front of the runway and there was no way that I was going to leave it being carried by a security guard. That had happened to me before, I wasn’t going to go through that again. I thought that as soon as someone came onto the stage, to steal me away from myself, I would be fine.
Lovely, is the feeling now. Every bit of air came rushing back into my system the moment I heard those lyrics. I looked up onto the stage where a pink bunny was staggering toward me. A shocking pain shot through my core that would have made me keel over if people weren’t holding me up on all angles. The Drunk Bunny was in front of me, gulping down a bottle of beer. I watched the amber liquid trickle down the man’s stubbled throat as it over flowed from his mouth and it all hit me a little to quickly. Green Day were 10 minutes from being in front of me.
I was so in awe of what was going to be happening in the next fifteen minutes that I didn’t dance or sing or do anything expect take a couple of photographs during the whole time the Drunk Bunny was on stage. If I was so sure that I didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit, I had to pull myself together and do it fast. I watch the man in the bunny suit flip the bird at people and caress his bottom as he staggered around and stumbled his way through the YMCA.
The bunny sauntered off of the stage, spilling beer as he went. People around me screamed as the auto player was turned back on. We were all waiting for one song, the one song that would start the ride of a lifetime.
Everyone knew what was coming, who was coming, the moment the Drunk Bunny left the stage. The atmosphere was electric. People were talking, shouting, screaming and there I was in the middle of it all. Standing a row behind the barrier, there I was, trying with everything I had to make the fact something phenomenal was going to be happening and I was going to see it with my own eyes, hear it with my own ears sink in. I was actually there. There wasn’t a screen in front of me, a pair of ear phones in my ears. It was just me, exposed to these sights, these sounds, this sensation of anticipation that was near to killing me.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio began to play. I had never liked the Ramones but in that moment, I could’ve made love to them, if they were alive. My heart was pounding. My ears were still ringing from the screaming. Every molecule of my body was shaking. If those people weren’t packed so tightly against me, my legs would have given way. I couldn’t bear to stand on my own. I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head. Tilting my head back, I had to get air. I sucked it in. The security guards were looking at me, they wanted to pull me out but I wasn‘t going to move, not now, not so close to the moment I had been so impatient for. A hot ball of yellow bile was sitting in my chest. My chest was uncomfortably tight as it was, I could barely breathe. If I could have died right there in that pit, then I think I would have done. However, I knew that they were coming, if it was going to kill me at the end, I was going to see this band.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio came to an end. The crowd erupted. Here came the static noise, beautiful music to my hopeless ears. Then I heard it, the voice I had been carrying in my heart for the past fourteen years. Sing us a song of the century. The one voice that could get me through anything, make me feel invincible. My ear drums reverberated with the echo of almost 71 thousand people singing in perfect harmony. I was encased in the most electrifying moment anyone could ever experience. I looked over at Tanja and all we could do was grin at each other. Words failed the both of us. What do you say to someone the moment before something truly epic happens? Waging the war and losing the fight. My heart lunged to my throat. They were coming closer. Visions of Bullet In A Bible came to mind. Billie Joe making his brotherly knucle pound with Mike, Tré, Jason White, Jason Freese and Ronny. Tell me a story and into that good night. “This is it” I said to myself, “I’m going to die before they even come out on stage.” My chest and heart contracted. Gripping my chest, there I stood, determined to stay in that pit for the entirety of the show. “Natasha Ann Brown; you have made it this far, there is no way in Nikki Sixx‘s lifetime I am letting you get dragged out of this pit”. Sing us a song for me. They’re here.
The two chords we had been waiting for blasted out of the speakers, sending shockwaves through my nervous system. Fourteen years of waiting to see Green Day from a mosh pit was about to come to an end. The most spectacular climax known to man and it was going to be mine. This was my moment and I was going to take it with both hands and run as fast and as far as I could.
The crowd around me screamed, even the guys were high pitched, arms flailed into the air. Already people were outstretching their hands, trying as hard as they could to reach to the back of the stage, wishing they were elastic like Mr Fantastic. My hands were up, they were out, one clutching my camera, waiting for the moments to capture forever.
My eyes laid themselves upon a sight I never thought I would see in this lifetime. Tré Cool running out onto the stage. His run was excited, elated… elegant. There he was, without the aid of a screen, without having to wait impatiently for Youtube to get its shit together. Tré was there, in front of me. He was real. Mike was the next out. Seeing the excitement and adrenaline radiate from him was just amazing. There really is no other way to describe it. He was positively glowing with a radiance I had never seen and never will again. He stopped at the catwalk, pumped his fist into the air then went on over to his usual spot. Finally, the moment I had been craving came to me. Billie Joe Armstrong walked out onto the stage, guitar neck in hand. Dumbstruck, in awe, star struck, call it what you will - the moment he walked out - I froze. There he was, my hero, my idol, standing on a box looking out on us all.
21st Century Breakdown began. I thought about Isabel and something she had said in the Wembley thread and laughed to myself. I could imagine her just walking out of the pit after that first “Dun, Dun!”. That was the moment she had been waiting for, the moment all of us had been waiting for. Here we were, about to ride the most emotional rollercoaster, experience the most amazing night of our lives and we were in it together.
The audience participation began straight away. All Billie had to do was raise his hands into the air and clap once. Immediately we knew what he wanted. We understood him and he understood us. He knew what was expected of him as we knew what was expected of us. There he stood in all his glory, waiting for his cue to jump from the box, The moment his feet touched the ground, the hugest explosion of gunpowder and flames sailed into the sky. The heat which came from the flames was so powerful, it felt like I had a thousand hairdryers in my face on the highest and hottest setting. With that explosion came the beginning of the best two hours and fifty minutes of my life.
Whenever Billie Joe mentioned Wembley, London or England, we would scream louder than we had ever done before. The fact Billie was acknowledging his location, the Stadium where his band was playing - it made it sink in a little more for me. This wasn’t a dream like the others I had had so many times before. This wasn’t a figment of my imagination. This was the real world. I was hearing this man’s voice, hearing the guitars, bass, drums, keyboard, saxophone, horns and piano. It wasn’t a bad quality recording or a shaky video clip. I was there.
“Everybody stand up!”
How any one could have still been sitting down was beyond me. The fact that Billie Joe was being so forceful, so authoritative, was a huge contrast to the man in the interviews who stumbled around his words with “uhm” and “y’know”. I knew that there were two sides to every person but I didn’t know Billie Joe’s two personalities were so different in nature. The Jesus of Suburbia was real, he was standing in front of me. Christian, Gloria, Jesus, St Jimmy, they were all there, encapsulated within this man standing before me. I had never understood that concept until that moment.
“Everybody stand up!” He repeated that command two maybe three more times.
“Let me take this motherfucker here right now. This is the biggest show we have every fucking had in our lives and y’know what? This is going to be the best fucking rock ‘n’ roll show you’ll ever see! Are you with me?”
It felt like I was being conscripted, drafted to join some war. The Green Day Army, so to speak. All too willingly, everyone screamed, signed themselves up to the greatest army, the best family in the world. This was it, we were now bound together for the rest of our lives.
“This is what I need you to do. When I say one two, three four; I want everyone to go fucking crazy are you ready?” I had been waiting a lifetime for this moment, of course I was ready.
There was no way I could wait a second longer. We waited, cheered and screamed, almost pleading with Billie Joe to give us what we wanted. The music was our drug, Billie was our dealer. He walked to the microphone stand, surveying all of us as he did so. We are the cries of the class of '13. Born in the era of humility. We are the desperate in the decline, Raised by the bastards of 1, 2, 3, 4. Billie jumped, a blast of pyrotechnics exploded into the Wembley air. Everyone around me lost control of themselves, they jumped, they surged. Music was flowing through everyone’s veins. We were high on the most beautiful of drugs.
The song closed with the entirety of the Stadium echoing with the sound of our singing. That moment right there was when it all came together. I may have been separated from Charlie, Jen and Alex Vagina but that initial worrying was gone now. I could’ve gone to that show on my own for all I cared. How could bad things have happened when we were with Green Day, when Billie Joe was looking out for all of us? The family was together, we were united. Though I was surrounded with mostly strangers, I could have made love to each and everyone of them. They were Green Day fans, therefore I loved them, I was in love with strangers.
“Do you know your fucking enemy?” came the next exclamation from our American host.
At that moment, my enemy was the girl behind me who kept putting her knee in my spine but I’m guessing that’s not what Billie was hinting at. Recently, I’ve become obsessed with Know Your Enemy since I found out my friend Harlow can play it on the guitar and told me that he didn’t start playing it again until I had mentioned Green Day to him. So for the entirety of Know Your Enemy, I thought of Harlow. He should have been there with us instead of where he was, where he is now. He should have been there.
Everyone around me began jumping. I would have done the same but since we were so packed together, I didn’t need to, I as just lifted from the ground. That’s one good thing about being in the pit at a Green Day show. My Converse were going to be getting a good workout from the pushing around that was happening already.
Billie ran to the right side of the stage then demanded that he have an England flag thrown to him. I saw on the screen that the flag was covered in writing, when I saw it, I thought it was Rebecca’s GDC flag. In fact, I hoped it was. But looking closer at it on the screen, it wasn’t filled up enough to have been our flag. That disappointed me slightly but Billie seemed pretty happy to have the flag he was so adamant on possessing for a while. Draping it across his shoulders, it looked like he was a Lord or better yet a King. Maybe I should have thrown my crown up to him but I couldn’t get it out of my pocket and really, would Billie wear a crown made for a Queen? Well, who knows with Billie Joe to be honest.
The first fan took to the stage in the middle 8 of the song. Billie came down the runway and looked at us all. I knew what he was doing, he was surveying us. Then he walked to the side and pointed at someone, beckoning them to go up on stage. The envy in our section… you could definitely feel it in the air. The fan, a guy came onto the stage then was greeted with the friendliest Billie Joe greeting I’ve ever seen. There, in front of me, Billie Joe was kissing another guy. This may be just me but I found that incredibly hot. Imagine what I was like when I saw the pictures and videos of Sven doing it one of the shows in Germany haha.
The guy [I don’t think we found out his name, if we did, it escapes me] stood with his arm around Billie’s waist as he sang along with him. At the top of our lungs we all screamed So gimmie gimmie revolution!, the fact that I had been out in the cold for over 12 hours made my throat feel worse after that scream. I watched Billie as he gestured to the guy on stage that he now had to do a stage dive. One of the security guards in front of us bellowed that we had to put our hands up, ready to catch this guy. With my camera hanging from my wrist, I put up both of my hands and braced myself for impact. Do you know the enemy, do you know your enemy, we’re calling out the enemy, he ran - he jumped - sailed right over my head like a low flying plane and landed in the arms a few people behind me. When he was passed back forward, he kicked me in the back of the head. Not that I wasn’t used to it - it happened a lot at the Kids In Glass Houses show.
“Now, this is the best fucking country in the world.” Billie said once the crowd had died down after Know Your Enemy had finished. The cheers were resurrected - not because we were patriotic but because Billie Joe was saying that England had the best Green Day fans in the world - if only for that moment.
“Y’know, you understand. You just fucking get it, we just understand each other. Green Day is not from California. God damn it, we are from fucking England!”
The notion of understanding Green Day and them understanding us, made me feel a little choked up. It’s how I always felt about Green Day. They were the only band which understood every emotion I had ever had. They held my hand when I was afraid, held me through those lonely nights where I wanted nothing more than to end it all. I carry them everywhere I go. Not in an iPod, my phone or anything like that. They’re always in my heart, they are a part of me - a huge part of me since I have known them longer than I have even my best friend. They were and still are the only band which understood me. How emo of me to say but it’s true - even if the cliché is somewhat… overused.
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh We clapped the drum beat. Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh. We followed Billie’s lead. And you will see - we had this, Billie didn’t need to use energy introducing a song - how Godless a nation we have become.
The Stadium fell silent, Billie Joe stared at us. He looked as though he were in awe, though he had seen something or heard something truly great. After a moment, he beamed a smile at us and kickstarted East Jesus Nowhere. We sang the lyrics, screaming them as loud as we could. We clapped out the drum beat.
Billie looked up to the sky; “And the clouds have parted!” We all collectively looked up and screamed with joy. “Last night, I got on my hands and knees and I said ‘Jesus! Jesus!’” A couple of girls behind me noticed the Southern twang that was in his accent when he proclaimed himself to Jesus. At least I wasn’t the only one who did notice it. “’Will you please spread these clouds out so you can see your favourite band Green Day?’” Again, the crowd cheered. Billie looked at us mischievously, “And he said ‘No’.” That was met by a chorus of boos from the crowd. It was true though, the clouds had been dominant of the skies until that moment. “He said ‘No, I won’t do that. I don’t believe in your secular music.’… So I went to his best friend. I called Satan.” He said this with a grin, one so maniacal that I just had to laugh. “I said ‘Satan, this is slightly awkward.’ And I said, ‘Will you kick Jesus’ ass?’ Then with a torch, he opened up the sky and he said!” Billie stopped his preaching. His mind had failed him during the story he was so happily telling us. “I dunno what he said… I need a volunteer.”
The crowd around me surged forwards. Hands flew up into the air. Shouts of “pick me” were thrown around, hoping Billie Joe would hear them. “I need a child.” Billie said, much to the dismay of many a fan. “I’m a child” a girl behind me shouted, “I have parents.” As you can tell, Billie Joe didn’t hear that. Two minutes later, a small boy took to the stage. He ran up to Billie Joe on the runway and gave him a huge hug, clinging to Billie Joe for dear life. Billie bent down slightly to return the hug. Every girl around me went weak at the knees. I would have done but I was close to falling over as it was. Tré came down from his place in the sky, holding a Polaroid camera. He crouched slightly and took a photo before walking away back to his pedestal.
With the microphone stand in one hand and the boy in the other, Billie stood up. The boy’s feet were lifted from the floor. He held Billie tighter, afraid that he was going to be dropped. Billie stopped a few metres from the end of the runway, placing the stand and the boy on the floor. Billie leant down and whispered some things to the boy, asked if he was alright. Then the boy was turned around to face us and Billie almost used him as a puppet, getting us to wave our arms from side to side.
The boy was so cute. His bright blue eyes were filled with tears constantly. When Billie Joe let go of his hands, he would hold his face in his hands. His happiness was amazing. Here was a little boy who was grateful to be on stage, standing in front of his idol. I would‘ve been the same, well, I would’ve cried more than that. I’m a pussy when it comes to Green Day, more on that one later.
Billie fell to his knees and placed his right hand on the top of the kid’s head. I watched the boy begin to hyperventilate a little. “You alright?” I heard Billie ask. The boy nodded with a smile on his face, tears trickling down his cheeks. Billie nodded with a smile. A fire burns today, of blasphemy and genocide. The sirens of decay will infiltrate the inside. Billie stopped - we were cheering again, waiting for the final word of the song. For the moment where the kid would fall over and be “saved”, brought into Lushotology. Then it came. Billie screamed, the kid fell over, pyro shot up above us. It was one of those moments when there was no other phrase to say than “Fuck Yeah”. The song ended. The kid rose to his feet and hugged Billie Joe again.
“So, what’s your name?”
“Recce.”
“Recce? Where you from Reece?”
“Ireland.”
Oh how I wish he didn’t say he was from Ireland. The moment the last syllable left his diaphragm, the crowd booed. Poor Reece, he couldn’t help it. Billie looked out to the crowd and winced at the crowd’s reaction. He rose to his feet, ushering Reece up the run way and the steps up to the stage. “Uhm… It’s a good thing you didn’t play in the World Cup yesterday, that’s all I can tell you.” He then told Reece to get his Irish ass off of the stage before applauding him.
The moment Billie’s feet hit the runway again, the giant screen behind him filled with the image of an atom bomb. The introduction to Holiday blasted out of the amps. Billie strode up to the microphone stand, placing his microphone in the cradle.
“To all my friends; Viva la Revolution!”
We screamed every word. Billie was leading the Revolution our dear Russell Brand had been wanting to lead since the beginning of his life. This was the biggest uprising of resentment I had seen, had ever been involved in. It didn’t matter that this English Revolution was being lead by a crowd of Americans. We were the uprising, we were the generation to change everything. To save us all from the shit our world’s politics and mindset had become. Everything was so hopeful. We felt like we could change the entire world if we sang loud enough. The world was at our fingertips. At least, we felt that way for the 5 minutes that the song was being played for before the middle 8.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the representative of London, England now has the floor.”
Simultaneously, we all pounded on out hearts and threw our right hand into the air for Zeig Heil. Yeah, I felt a little like a Nazi but I guess that was the point. Two shots of pyro shot up on the words bang bang and scared the living shit out of the majority of people in the pit. I’ve never been that huge a fan of Holiday but that night, It became one of my favourite songs. The energy I got off of people in the pit during that song was amazing. The atmosphere was electric, buzzing with disgruntlement, energy that was going to be thrown into The Static Age.
“Wembley Stadium, we have come a long way since playing the Garage in 1994, I can tell you that.”
Billie kept saying little statements like this and I don’t think anyone really knew why. I have my own theory that it was so it would actually sink into his mushy brain. I mean come on, if you were up on that stage, wouldn’t you have to keep reaffirming it to yourself? I know I would.
I don’t really want to keep repeating myself but I don’t want to say that the song went without anything special happening. The whole gig was amazing but y’know this song went along rather “normally” if anything really can inside Wembley Stadium. I feel a little awful for not finding anything fantastic to say about that performance. There is one thing that blew me away a little. Jason Freese’s saxophone solo. I really wasn’t expecting it at all. He just appeared out of nowhere with his saxophone out. That sounds like a terrible euphemism but I assure you, it’s not. He stood on Billie’s guitar amp box thing and just played away. Mind fuck is not the phrase I’d use but it’s how I felt at the time.
The end of The Static Age came and Billie Joe walked off of the stage. Mike, Tré, the two Jasons and Jeff stayed on stage in silence for a moment. Then Tré began to pound out the beat for Give Me Novocaine. To be honest with you, I almost cried when I heard this song. I’d first heard it, along with the rest of the American Idiot album, when I was in the thick of my depression. When I’d first heard it, it was almost like Billie Joe had crept into my mind, taken my innermost thoughts and written them down for the whole world. It was the first song since Good Riddance that I had ever made an emotional attachment with. Yeah, I may be being sentimental but y’know, this is my review, I’m allowed to be.
Billie took to the stage again, his acoustic guitar was hanging from his neck. He walked past the microphone stand, picking up the microphone along the way. Stretching his legs, Billie took the opportunity to have a walk and give us another speech.
“Sometimes you get sick of all the fucking noise that goes on.” He paused and we got confused, surely he wasn’t sick of us already. “Visual noise and visual bullshit.” Ah, that cleared that one up then. “Billboards, see all the crap on computers, you see all the shit in the newspapers. But y‘know what? This is the best fucking time right now. It‘s about you London and it‘s about Green Day together.”
Really, I thought it was more about Green Day since this was their show, playing their songs etc etc. Most bands nowadays are like “Fuck you, this is our show, if you don’t like it, there’s the door.” No, not Green Day. I love how they appreciate their fans and the fact that it’s really expensive to see them live.
That’s the thing about Green Day fans, there’s no one really quite like us. Who else would travel half way around the world to see their favourite band? Who else would camp out two days before the show? Who else would sit outside the venue in the rain and the cold just to catch a glimpse of the band leaving the venue? That may sound like stalking or insanity to some people, but you can’t explain these things, this devotion to people who aren’t Green Day fans. Green Day fans are the most devoted people I have ever seen. They’re the most passionate people I’m ever going to see.
I guess Billie Joe understood that, seeing as he is such a huge fan of his bands as well. He understands us and we understand him. That’s why no relationship between a fan and their band is ever going to be as special as the one between us and Green Day.
Take away the sensation inside. That moment, I felt weightless, nothing mattered anymore. The entire world outside the Stadium could have ended and I wouldn’t have noticed or even cared. There was just me, these people directly surrounding me and Billie Joe in the world. Ten people made up the population of the world and I was quite alright with that.
Give me a long kiss goodnight and everything will be alright tell me Jimmy I won’t feel a thing… so give me fucking England. That was one of the greatest line changes I’d ever heard that night, the greatest is coming up a little later on. Y’know, I felt loved, accepted, like I belonged somewhere in this world. As uncomfortable as I may have felt, this was my home. My home was in the middle of a crowd of sweaty people.
Give Me Novocaine slowly and elegantly slipped into Are We The Waiting. Billie Joe sauntered off of the stage to take off his guitar then came back out carrying a microphone. Again, the crowed lunged forwards. They had seen the videos of this tour on Youtube, they knew that with this song came another opportunity for a fan to come up on stage. For that person to be the object of thousands of people’s envy.
Our lovely Matt's England wig was thrown onto the stage and Billie wore it. The moment I saw that, I took the shades Kryssi had given me and thrown into onto the runway. Unfortunately, I threw them too hard and they just slipped off of the edge. The bastards. Billie walked down the cat walk singing then slipped the wig off and threw it into the crowd. Then, he made his selection, choosing a girl to come onto the stage. She was passed over my head onto the stage. She wore a black shirt and bright red jeans. Apparently, she had been on stage for the Manchester show. Yeah, I was jealous but y’know, gotta be happy for the chick.
The rage and love, story of my life. Billie took the girl’s hand and sank to his knees. The Jesus of Suburbia is a lie. The girl sank to her knees also and slipped a bracelet off of her wrist to give to him. They kissed on the lips - jealousy levels were rising, still happy for her though. Billie got up from his knees and walked away from her, ready for the next song to start. The girl looked at us before grinning and hurrying off of the stage.
Saint Jimmy came the guttural cry from our pint sized American god. It was like something had crawled up in Billie’s asshole and died. Really that’s what it sounded like. With the Jaded of the American Idiot era, Billie Joe threw himself around the stage. With the summons of his own crazed depravity and insanity, Billie literally changed before us from the lead singer of Green Day into the thought child that was Saint Jimmy. Seeing Billie Joe being like that now made me wonder to myself what he must have been like when Green Day played their first ever show. Had he always been this extrovert, this unafraid?
There was something incredibly primal about the way the thirty eight year old was throwing himself around the stage. Forgive me for being a little too open with you all; but seeing that. I became incredibly aroused. Having a girl boner in the middle of a Green Day show, I don’t think there was ever going to be a more appropriate place. I won’t tell you what I was feeling then Billie looked out into the crowd and stared at us for over a minute. That intent stare - for a moment, it was on me, I could feel it burning into me. Thank Sixx it was only for a split second.
And don’t you fucking wear it out! came the spit. Billie threw himself off of the box he was standing up on and strode off of the stage. Jason White struck the first chord which made me think of Harlow once more. My heart sank slightly, not because I don’t like the song or because I was in thinking of Harlow but because I know how much he would’ve appreciated being there. Like before with Know Your Enemy, I was thinking that Harlow should have been there.
Billie Joe walked back onto the stage, with a guitar around his neck. He was strumming out the rhythm to Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Instinctively the crowd picked up the cue for the vocals and sang. Being in the front of that throbbing crowd, the one that was now singing about lonely hearts and wanting to be saved was truly incredible. I could hear their voices being raised to the rafters. A cold shiver shot down my spine causing me to shake slightly. Looking at Billie Joe, I saw the grin on his face that had been there ever since he first walked out onto the stage. I knew that there was a slight undertone to that smile but it was one of appreciation, of being overwhelmed.
Singing the first verse of this song was the moment I realised I was at a Green Day show. I knew now that all of this was real. Here I was surrounded by thousands of people sharing a love and adoration for a band. Those fourteen years of waiting had been worth it. All of the stress, the depression, the excitement, the fights, the awkward meetings with GDCers, everything had been worth it. Everything I had been through in life had been worth it because it all led to this. I looked up to the sky feeling like the members of my family I had lost in 2006 were looking down on me. With tears in my eyes, I silently thanked them for giving me this moment. The watery smile was still planted on my lips as my gaze returned to what was happening in front of me.
Billie took off his guitar and placed it on the floor before sinking to his knees. My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me. Tré came out from behind his drum kit and stood in front of it. He stood there and looked at us all, listening to the crowd singing his song. My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating. Billie Joe leant forwards with his hands behind his back, laying his forehead on the floor. Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me. ‘Til then I walk alone. Mike pounded on his chest with his right fist and raised it to us, mouthing the words “Thank you, thank you so much”. Tré raised his hand to us before walking back behind his kit to sit down. Still curled up on the stage, Billie Joe placed his hands in front of him, and worshipped us. To me, it should have been us praising him like that but there was no way that we’d all be able to get back up off of the ground if we had done. Well, getting down on the floor in the first place would have been a little difficult.
Billie rose to his feet, picking up his guitar as he did so. Slipping the strap over his head, the smile on his face returned. Without sounding like a complete psychopath, seeing that made my heart feel a little lighter. I’m not really sure why. Maybe I just needed to know that they were actually enjoying this show, that the nerves weren’t getting the better of them. Billie pulled himself over to the microphone and ruffled his trademark black hair.
“Green Day are gonna win the God damn World Cup, I’ll tell you that now.” Based on the support alone, I’m more than happy to believe that.
Green Day took control of their song back. Do you know the sensation of feeling weightless? How odd your chest feels when you take a breath? That happened to me in this song. Nothing mattered anymore. The thoughts I had before the show were gone. The fact I had work on the Monday morning didn’t matter. As fat as I was concerned, there was no future and there was no past. I was finally living in the present. There was a little bubble that the Stadium was contained in. There we were, this was our world, our Universe. I’ve not been to a gig which made me feel like that for a while. Actually, the last one was the last Green Day show I had been to. There’s a sense of camaraderie I feel going on with Green Day and the fans, that sense of family I don’t really see with any other band expect for 30 Seconds to Mars. If it’s there with other bands then obviously it’s a subtle thing that I can’t see.
This was the first song that I almost cried in and I’ll tell you why. Billie Joe came down to the end of the runway. Every time he did, it make it that little more real that I was physically seeing this band. I digress. It was because of this: Check my vital signs to know I’m still alive and I walk alone. That line has always resonated with me because of my depression. In the midst of my depression, I would sometimes feel for my pulse to see if I was still alive or were just faking it. After this, Billie asked a question of which I had never been more certain of answering. “Are you alive?”
That night, Green Day had made me feel more alive than I had ever done in the 21 years of this life. I didn’t want the next two and a half hours to end but I knew that they were going to. So I did all that I could do, I took that feeling of life and I held onto it as if it were the only thing that I had left.
The next time Billie changed his guitar, he returned with his every faithful Blue. The Fernendes Stratocaster which his father Andy had given him before his death in 1982. The guitar that you and I have come to love and idolise as Green Day fans.
Standing on the box again, Billie held his childhood above his head for us all to see. We all cheered, we knew what was coming. The sight of the sticker clad guitar meant only one thing; the old school songs were coming. Looking at setlists from previous shows of this leg of the tour; we knew the standard of songs to expect. What we got though far exceeded those small expectations.
“How many old school Green Day fans are here tonight?” came the question.
The last time I had heard that question, Billie quickly exploded into playing 2,000 Light Years Away. This time around, this is what we had;
“This song was written in 1997. It’s called Nice Guys Finish Last.”
Luckily I was surrounded by old school fans who knew this song. Not that I don’t like the newer fans. I just didn’t want to be the only person in my section that knew the words to the old songs otherwise I would’ve felt incredibly alone for a long time. Though saying that, we all started singing and after a few lines, I heard a few people fall silent. I was in two minds about that to be honest, was it because people wanted to appreciate the song or was it because they weren’t the old school fans I assumed them to be in the first place? At least the people behind me weren’t injuring me in any way so I couldn’t complain. With the last chord still echoing from the amplifiers, Billie approached the microphone again.
“This next song comes off of an album called Dookie. It’s called Burnout, let’s go.”
So we got one of the songs we had wanted the most. It was amazing hearing those songs, seeing the look of happiness and contentment on Billie’s face. You could hear it in his voice that this was the show of a life time and he was taking advantage of every possibility, every moment was his for the taking.
After Burnout came the most appropriate song I think I ever could have heard in that Stadium.
“Alright.” Billie said, taking the microphone again, “This next song we haven’t played in a while.” I still remember that moment of buzzing anticipation in the crowd.
“What are we gonna get?” I heard someone ask.
I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment to come, I’m destined for anything at all. Never before have I hears those lyrics sung with such conviction. I’d never been able to relate to that song before but that night, that song and I became siblings. It just felt so appropriate since we all felt the same way, them waiting so long to play this show, us waiting so long to go to a show like this. Lifetimes of waiting had come to an end. To use a cliché, we were thanking or lucky stars. We sang so loud that we were drowning Billie out. Every word came from our hearts.
While we were still feeling elated from Waiting, Billie Joe took the opportunity to introduce the next song. No one had any idea what to expect now.
“Y’know what? I don’t know when we’re going to be back. I don’t know when the next time I’m going to be back here is. I have no fucking clue. That’s why right now, we’re gonna play a song called Geek Stink Breath.”
The place exploded. I guess I was wrong during Nice Guys Finish Last. Either that or I was too wrapped up in my own happiness to even notice that.
I love how even in the old school songs, Mike and Tré get to showcase themselves, show us why they deserve to have a place in the “best live musicians” list. Watching all three of them doing the thing they love the most, the thing that they’ve worked an entire life time for was an incredible honour. During the old school songs, I felt incredibly lucky to have been there. I know hundreds of people who would have been more than willing to take my place that that show, people who were desperate for a ticket. I knew my 14 year old cousin is a huge fan of the band and I lived every moment of that show, not just for me but for every one who couldn’t be there. Those people had the night of their lives through me, I made sure of that.
“What else do you wanna hear?” Billie asked as he played on his guitar. The crowd of girls behind me deafened me by shouting Warning over and over again. “Come on, we’re taking requests.” Billie said as he looked around, hoping to catch someone’s request. Then, he noticed a sign, a sign that our dear Rosie had made.
“Like A Rat Does Cheese?” he asked then nodded to himself.
He turned to Tré and motioned him to come down from his place in the sky.
“Coming down from the drums, here’s Tré Cool.”
“We all screamed” is a bit of an understatement, as is “the place erupted” I think you had to be there to take in all the happiness, the disbelief of it all. There was Tré in all his glory, wait, he wasn’t naked. He was still glorious and still coming down from the drums. He and Billie stood together for a moment talking to each other as Billie took off Blue and handed it to Tré. Tré carefully slipped the strap over his headed as Billie Joe made his way up the stairs to Tré’s territory. Tré looked at us all, the master of all he surveyed. He nodded to us all as he grinned then began to play a song. It wasn’t the song we wanted, the song we asked for. No, it was better than that. We had Dominated Love Slave. We had Billie Joe play on the drums - grinning like a small child at the fact that we were singing the lyrics louder than Tré, making all the sound effects.
To say the inner pervert within us all came out because of Tré would again be an understatement. I’m sure the girls wanted to fuck Tré… the guys probably did as well. I saw the look on the security guard’s face, he was completely disgusted but that’s what you get to hear then you have to work a Green Day show, Green Day fans and a whole load of depravity.
Dominated Love Slave ended and Tré reverted back to his drum set, much to the disappointment of those of us who wanted to hear Like A Rat Does Cheese, Food Around the Corner or even Billie Joe’s Mom. Billie slipped Blue back onto his slender shoulders and struck a chord, standing on his box again as he did so. We were waiting for another song, not really knowing what to expect. What came from Blue was the opening to Hitchin A Ride - one of my personal favourites.
Those of you who know how Hitchin A Ride works when it’s played live will know what happens in the intermission. If you don’t I shall explain to you quickly. Billie Joe screams out for someone to fuck him - everyone in the audience screams - Billie puts his hand down his trousers and fakes masturbation. So, now you know that, you’ll know what I was waiting for. So I had my camera out on video mode, waiting for it to happen.
The intermission came; Billie Joe grabbed a water pistol and squirted people in front of the stage with it. For a while, we wondered if he could come down the run way with the hose since we were in need of that water. Tré came down from his drum set to pick up the hose on the other side of the catwalk and squirted people with that.
It was in this intermission that Billie Joe discovered his new favourite hobby; making us hold a note for an insane amount of time. The first time he did this, we lasted 20 seconds. Impressive? You wait until later on in the review.
“Now are you ready?” he asked playfully and immediately, the chant of “1,2. 1,2,3,4.” started and replayed on a natural loop. We started quietly. It was like we were a flaccid penis trying to make a vagina wet. It clearly wasn’t working. Billie folded his arms and pouted at us, silently saying “I know you can do better and I am not doing anything else until you show me you can.” Then, like a three year old, he stamped his foot and turned his back on us. Everyone in my section looked at each other, smirked then shouted the chant louder, hoping that everyone else would follow suit. When we had all gotten louder, when every person in the Stadium was proclaiming the fact that they could count to four, Billie Joe’s head snapped up. He looked around as if to say “Where is that noise coming from?” Then he turned to us and smiled. With us still shouting, Billie put Blue’s neck on his left shoulder, holding the body in his hand and marched up to the microphone. Slinging Blue back down to a guitar’s natural position, Billie wiped his brow on his sleeve and looked out at us.
“Who wants to hear another old school Green Day song?”
I cheered for a second then stopped. Wait, where was the fake masturbation? Where was the hand going down the pants? Where were the sex noises? Here I was, someone who’d been waiting for this since Bullet In A Bible and Billie Joe wasn’t going to fake sexual pleasure? “What the fuck, Billie Joe?” I thought. “Look dude, I don’t care what you play, just shove your hand down your pants, I’m recording this for a reason.”
“This is what I need” I need you to put your hand in your underpants. “This is what I need you to do” come on, just a little stroke of mini Beej. “This is what I need every single person here at the Wembley Stadium to do.“ This is what I need Billie Joe Armstrong of Rodeo California to do, you best be paying attention. “I need every body to scream 1,2. 1,2,3,4. Are you ready?” Well, I will be when you get your sex noises going.
Unfortunately, the Queen of Wembley Stadium doesn’t always get what she wants. However, we did get another old school song. The second song of Green Day’s I had ever heard. Welcome to Paradise, how fitting considering where we were. Here came the second epic line change of the evening. For some strange reason… Wembley’s feeling like my home. It felt, still feels, a lot like mine as well.
When I Come Around was up next. The moment I heard the intro, I couldn’t stop laughing. You remember that interview where Mike says “the softest songs make for the hardest reactions” or something like that then he goes “Dude, When I Come Around!” and starts thrashing around? For some odd reason, I instantly thought of that. I don’t even know why. The people around me must have thought I was either retarded or a psychopath. Surely enough though, there was a huge mosh pit apparently. I could feel the pushing from it from the people either side of me. Maybe what Mike said was true. For me, Mike was the main event of this song and I shall tell you why, he was the inspiration for the greatest lyric change I have ever heard. He skipped past Billie Joe [no, he did literally skip past Billie]. Billie saw him and sang So go do what you like, I’m having sex with Mike. Everyone where I was standing cheered. I think I heard one guy behind me saying “Give him one for me!” Insane. I actually thought of GDC when Billie sang that. GDC and its lovely rumour thread where we would always have little stories going about Mike and Billie screwing each other.
Billie took to his podium of the night once more. It was almost like he was about to preach a sermon to us, the way he stood and raised his arms to us. I had the strange temptation of screaming “Hallelujah.” I didn’t follow up on it though, I’m not a total spastic, contrary to popular belief.
Running his fingers along the metal strings of Blue, Billie took the slender guitar neck into his left hand. In my mind, I was being a little perverted, comparing the caress he was giving Blue to one he would give to his wife Adrienne. Admittedly, I did lose myself in a fantasy of Billie Joe and Adrienne having sex like I had done before during Joan Jett‘s set when I saw Adrienne standing by the side of the stage. There‘s something about Adrienne. I‘m not a lesbian or bisexual but… Adrienne is beautiful, one day I would love her to have her way with me but that‘s just a fantasy I have, as do many other Green Day fans.
Thank Sixx, Billie pulled me out of it with a guitar riff I’d only heard once before. There he did, a thirty eight year old rock guitarist playing the guitar riff of Black Sabbath’s Iron Man. A homage to the English, his venue for the night. After ten seconds, he stopped, letting the crowd take over. This was the only time I didn’t know the song. I’ve never really been a huge Black Sabbath fan and I doubt I ever would be but I could appreciate the fact that Billie Joe was an Ozzy Osbourne fan.
He stepped off of the box and slowly walked over to the microphone stand in front of the steps leading to Tré. He looked at us all, taking the sight of 71,000 people into his system. She’s got eyes of the bluest skies. The fact that Billie Joe was singing a Guns ‘n’ Roses song took me by surprise. Anyone who knows me well, would know that I like my 80s Glam Metal. I‘d heard that Green Day had been playing Motley Crue songs in rehearsals and jam sessions. Two of my favourite bands merging together into one fantastic rarity. This was the closest I was going to get to hearing Green Day playing a Motley Crue song, for now I hope. Oh sweet child of mine, oh sweet love of mine we sang. It was like one magnificent Blakeian moment where nothing of material value was significant. It was just them and us, singing, expressing ourselves artistically.
That moment soon passed however when in another ode to the British, Billie Joe busted out the introduction to AC/DC’s Highway to Hell. This is where a strange moment for me kicked in. Billie was singing, and I was singing along, y’know, I was happy. Then I looked around me and no one else in my section knew the words. For a moment, I felt old but I’m only 21 years old… it’s just that I listen to classic rock. Then, I realised that I shouldn’t feel bad for being the only one in my section. No, I could and did feel fantastic. This meant Green Day and I, as well as a few other people were having a moment together, a sexy British rock moment.
Unfortunately, our moment together came to an end when Billie Joe fell silent and hushed us with a hand gesture. The A chord was thrashed twice. That was all we needed, we screamed one of the most guttural screams I had heard since St Jimmy.
I’m having trouble trying to sleep. I’m counting sheep but running out. As time ticks by. And still I try. No rest for cross tops in my mind. On my own… here we go. This song, these lyrics, were exactly how I felt at half past four that morning when I couldn’t even think of sleeping. Then again at nine o’clock when I still hadn’t slept. There I was surviving on an hour’s worth of actual sleep, feeling everything that this song was saying. How was I not in hospital with exhaustion? How was I not a horrible wreck? How was I still standing? I didn’t know any of the answers to those questions but then again, I wasn’t hell-bent on knowing the answers.
Mosh pits formed to the left, right and back of me. I could feel them pushing the people surrounding me. Well, at least they had room to move, a sense of personal space. Mine was being invaded by a girl who’s elbow wanted to make love to my shoulder. The girl behind me would rest her arm on my shoulder and keep it there, even when I pushed it off and told her not to do it. I was about to turn round and punch her in the face when she finally get the message.
She wasn’t the only one who didn’t understand GA etiquette. Ever heard of the “rule” that girls with insanely long hair should tie it up and if they didn‘t they couldn‘t complain if it got pulled? Clearly the girl in front of me hadn’t heard that. All the way through the show, she kept telling me and Tanja to move back. If you guys were where we were standing, you would know how impossible that was. Then when she felt the slightest pull in her hair, she would turn round and give me death stares. My Sixx, tie the fucker up! You wanna know how long her hair was? It was down to her waist. She had hair bands around her wrist but didn’t have the thought process of putting them in her hair, where they were intended to go. She was also putting make up on in between the songs. I wish I were lying but no, I’m unfortunately not. Girls, if you are in a Green Day pit and you have the fortune of standing near me, tie your hair up, don’t complain about your personal space being invaded, don’t put make up on during the show and don’t take more photos of yourself in the crowd than you do of the band. Yes, they were all things that she was doing. Was I impressed? No. If I could’ve gotten my crown out of my pocket, I would’ve banished her from the pit since the crown said I was the Queen of Wembley. I’m guessing now Mino shouldn’t have written that on there, I let it get to my ego a little too much.
Brain Stew faded into a guitar filler while Billie Joe frolicked around the stage. That day, we had Panic Song, which was nice to hear, I really wasn’t expecting it. Another fan was chosen to come onto the stage, another boy. I’m guessing Billie likes the British gentlemen. Billie picked up a water hose and led the boy down to the end of the catwalk. Finally, water, salvation from the insane heat. Billie whispered into the boy’s ear whilst aiming the hose at a girl in the crowd.
Billie stepped away and the boy was unleashed upon us. Water went everywhere but it was damn good. Getting bored of us after 10 seconds, the boy moved away to the side of the catwalk while Billie went off stage. Security came on stage to take the boy away, he was enjoying the hose a little too much.
When the boy was gone, Billie came back out onto the stage, wielding his toilet paper gun. He pulled the trigger. Toilet paper floated into the air. Maybe not having the same effect as the water did but still, people were after it was if it were a part of Green Day’s soul. Mind you, if I were in the proximity, I would’ve been the same as them so I can’t really judge them on that. Once Billie had had his fun with the toilet paper gun, he brought out the t-shirt cannon. “Who wants a t-shirt?!” Billie asked. Even though we would have died if Billie shot the cannon at us, everyone in my section screamed for one. Billie’s small body was pushed back slightly with the kickback of the cannon. The shirt flew into the air. I was waiting for the bang which came with fireworks so was slightly relieved when there wasn’t one. I don’t really like fireworks. Mind you, I say that and I go to a show where there is a fuck load of pyrotechnics.
Five t-shirts later and Billie retires the canon for the night. There was more fun to be had. Billie took the microphone from its stand once more. “Are you ready to dance?” I hadn’t realised that this had turned into a night club or that moshing was a form of dancing. Learn something new every day.
“Are you ready to lose your mind? Are you ready to go fucking crazy?”
Jaded imploded into our ear drums. The crowd lost their minds. Bodies were flying everywhere. It was like a war zone, except with no guns. Once again, like with St Jimmy, that slim body of Billie Joe Armstrong’s flung itself around the stage. An afro wig which had been spray painted to look like the England flag was thrown up onto the stage. Billie roughly pulled it over his own hair and freed himself of inner inhibitions. Doing the splits, break dancing, randomly collapsing to the floor and pulling himself back up again. The lunatic was running the asylum and we were more than happy to let the descend into further chaos ensue. For the end of the song, to end it with a bang, Billie jumped back up onto his box and pulled his trousers down, showing his bare naked ass to the crowd for five seconds before pulling his trousers up and storming off of the stage.
Like a small child seeing its opportunity to take the limelight, Mike strummed at his bass guitar strings as he came bounding down the runway. Our hapless puppy held the neck of his bass out to us. We tried to reach it and Mike tried to push it further forward still. We were determined but Mike wasn’t going to wait all night for us to touch his bass. So, he pulled it away.
“Now, is there any singers in the house? We need a volunteer.”
As you’d expect, everyone screamed and shoved their hands into the air, hoping that they would be chosen to go on stage. Where were my GDCers when I needed them eh? Maybe I should’ve worn my crown but y’know, I can tell you what would happen if I was chosen. I’d get up on the stage, trip over my own foot, call Billie Joe the wrong name, get the song entirely wrong, try to molest Mike and Tré then do the worst stage dive ever. Maybe I wasn’t the best candidate to represent GDC.
“Where are ya? I need a singer.” he paused, a joke had come into mind, “… The Jazz Singer.” he finished then laughed to himself.
That joke was pretty much wasted on us since I don’t think a lot of people know who Neil Diamond was or had any idea that that film even existed.
“Does anyone know the words to this song? I need someone who knows the words to this song right here, right now.”
Once again, the crowd surged forwards. Almost everyone in the crowd knew the words to the song that was coming up. Come on, everyone knows Longview, don’t they? Billie laid his eyes on our entertainment for the moment, Rufus.
“You know it? That kid with the sign that has ‘Me’ on it? You know it? … How old are you? … Fifteen? … Have you every had sex with a woman before?” Rufus shook his head causing Billie to smirk. “Well you’re about to have sex with one tonight kid, get your ass up here.”
I think Rufus had been on stage before, no, I know he had, the same night that Kryssi was pulled up on stage last year. He was doing the same thing he did last year. I have my own opinion on this kid but I’ll keep that to myself.
He did alright with the song considering. He missed a couple of cues with choruses and things but y’know, I can’t complain since I would’ve been worse. I think it just would’ve been nice to have our GDC line change in there but like I said before, the Queen doesn’t always get what she wants. It was during this song where the crowd participation in my area was a little lacking. You know the line where Billie says Call me pathetic, call me what you will and Mike’s like What you will!? Well, we came to that part and Billie raised his hand and y’know what? I think I was one of the only people in my section who replied. Again, I felt quite special because of that.
At the end of the song, Billie and Rufus introduced themselves to each other.
“Hi, I’m Billie Joe Armstrong… originally from London England. Formally from Rodeo, California. I’m an export now.”
Rufus asked Billie Joe for some water “Wait, you want water?” Billie asked, Rufus nodded, “Alright then” Billie said then walked to the side of the stage for a moment, bringing back a bottle of beer with him. A swig of beer was taken and the bottle handed back to Billie. Rufus then motioned Billie to come close to him, he pointed at Blue, asking if he could play it. Billie said no to Rufus’ request.
“Stop milking it and get off the stage” a girl behind me shouted. Honestly, I think a lot of people were getting bored of this kid and wanted the show to carry on. “Oh Rufus, you have to do a stage dive.” Thankfully, the path of for the stage dive was set up in the crowd to the left of me. I didn’t fancy having another kick to the back of the head.
Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once? The crowd didn’t even cheer. The moment have the time came out of Billie’s mouth, we picked up the rest of the song. It was quite uncanny. For me, that entire song was like an outer body experience. I don’t really remember much of it apart from Tré propelling drumsticks into the air and a huge mosh pit brewing. The only other thing I remember was the grin on each other guys’ faces. It was just so odd for me, being in that space, sharing in Green Day’s happiness, being a part of the reason they were so elated. For a night, I mattered to three men I would never get to speak to in person.
All the way through the show, the crowd had gotten progressively louder and we were now completely drowning out Billie Joe. I think the technicians must have turned up the volume at some point since Billie’s vocals had gotten louder. Unless Billie was just now shouting more so than he already does.
This was the first song that I made a comparison between this show and the Milton Keynes shows used for Bullet In A Bible. Obviously, I’m going to say that this show was far better since I was actually there and this was my first time in standing for a Green Day show. With Milton Keynes, I can only use BIAB for reference and I‘ll tell you why that‘s a bad thing. I think in a way, BIAB was a little deceiving. It didn’t show you how intense the pit actually was to be in. Yeah there were aerial shots and everything so you could see the puts forming and things, but can a piece of footage really prepare you for the real thing? I was in standing for the first time at a Green Day show and I was close to the barrier. I wasn’t prepared for it at all. I’ve been in subdued, melancholy, violent and raunchy pits for other bands. However, as I’m sure everyone knows, Green Day shows are always going to be in a different league.
All week I‘d been hearing stories about people being injured in the pit at other shows and I mean severely injured. A part of me wanted to believe that it was just something to shit others up and I think for the sake of my own sanity, I let that part become the majority. I was so ill prepared for the old school songs and how… electrifying the crowd would be during them so I was beginning to suffer a little bit. I wasn’t hurt or anything, y’know, I only came out of that show with a broken toe and a bit of a headache from being kicked so much.
She, she screams in silence. A sullen riot penetrating through her mind. Y’know, I really wasn’t expecting this song to be played. It’s because I love the song so much really. A few years ago, a few people had told me that this song reminds them of me, and since then I’d never heard it played live. It’s kinda weird to hear a song, knowing that people think of you when they hear it.
Anyway, I digress. Billie Joe came down the runway to the end. He held the microphone to the stand while he wasn’t playing the guitar. A couple of times, he would lean himself out to the crowd. One of those times, he was right near me. If the stage was closer then I would have been able to touch him, I know it. That sounded incredibly stalkerish… I want to touch you Billie Joe.
Like with Basketcase, there were a few moshpits circulating around but there was something not quite right about them. Maybe it was just because of the song, the pits picked up again later on so I’m guessing it was just the song.
“The first show we’ve played in London was in 1991, but we kept coming back and now we’re playing the biggest fucking show we’ve ever done.”
That is one of the quotes which will mean everything to me. A certain sense of pride has to come up when your favourite band decides to do the biggest show they’ve ever done in your country. I’m sure you all know how I feel about being at that show so I won’t go into it now.
Does it matter to me that they played so many old school songs? No, not really. I’m grateful for the fact that I was there in the first place, that I was going to be seeing the guys for the second time. Yeah, other shows may have gotten some rarer songs but for me, there’s no point in being upset about it. Besides “The older songs are better anyway”, as said by Billie Joe himself. It’s nice that they still acknowledge the songs which made them so popular, that they’re still willing to engage with their 20 year old selves since you do get bands now who say “we’re not going to play the old songs anymore, we’ve outgrown them.” There are still so many issues in old Green Day songs which are relevant to today. Also, they can appeal to so many different fans like the people who’d been in for the ride since 1,039 Smooth or had just joined the family because of the 21st Century Breakdown album purely because of their set list.
The band walked back onto the stage and everything was right with the world once more. Except something was different. Something didn’t look normal. The band were in costume. Jason Freese was donning his Michael Jackson outfit, Jason White was adorning his pirate hat, there was Tré in his wedding hat, huge nerd glasses and red bra, Mike was dressed as a cat with his tail and little ears, and lastly, Billie Joe walked out onto the stage wearing a police cap. I remembered these costumes from the last time I had seen them. I grinned to myself; King. For. A. Day.
The horns kicked in, as did the dancing. Dancing at a Green Day show, yes you read correctly. It was incredible. Everyone was jumping up and down like little bunnies on speed and we were happy - euphoric even. Y’know how they say dancing is like a primal mating ritual? Well, I would have gotten my primal self on with a lot of people in that crowd. Seriously, Green Day shows do things to me.
Billie was getting his bottom out and slapping it, much to the enjoyment of many a lady, and gentleman. He was gyrating all over the place, that girlish figure of his sure was getting a work out that evening, at least now, we all know how he stays so slim. Billie was wearing loads of people’s hats along with other costume pieces and throwing them back into the crowd. This performance of that song was like routing through mum’s wardrobe looking for a circus tent like dress, oversized shoes and the must have big hat. It was fun, I really enjoyed that song. I didn’t know just how much I would enjoy it until later on. Well, that night, Billie’s mum’s closet contained a lot of feather boas. Billie threw them all around his neck and picked up some comical glasses before donning another policeman’s hat.
“Ladies and gentleman! Mr Jason Freese!”
Billie screamed, coaxing Jason to come down to the end of the run way with him. Jason came running down with his saxophone. He and Billie came to the end of the runway where Jason was to play the saxophone solo accompanied by Mr Billie Joe Armstrong on the kazoo.
Before this show, I’d never realised just what a talented musician Jason was. Every instrument he played, he played it to a ridiculous standard. He was just amazing and so awe inspiring. If anyone ever wants to play the saxophone or keyboards or accordion, just look to Jason Freese for your inspiration. He is so underrated and, in a way, it’s a shame that he is but on the other hand, if everyone knew about him, he wouldn’t be Green Day’s best kept secret anymore.
Then suddenly, Jason threw himself into a rendition of the music from a Benny Hill sketch. I could see Billie Joe run half way up the runway, make a little spin, then run back to where we were. I’d never seen Benny Hill before so I can only assume that this was a parody of some sort. Then, when Billie returned to Jason, he took of the boas and threw them to Brian who was standing in front of me. Before you ask, yes, I was jealous, but that was soon corrected, read on and see why.
“And stop!” Billie shouted bringing the music to a haunt and dumbfounding the crowd for a moment. Then, after a split second, we cheered. It was amazing how Billie Joe had this obvious control over not only the band but the crowd. I’ve never seen a person like that before. To be honest, I was little in awe, slightly afraid… and a little aroused but in awe just the same.
Tré threw his drumsticks into the air and stood up, rising above everyone in standing. He looked like Moses when he came down from Sinai Mountain with the Ten Commandments. Tré was a thing of beauty - with or without the costume props. He was like a god. No, he was a god.
Now wait a minute. Billie sang, dragging out the note for the word wait for an extraordinary amount of time, just like he always does. Then, he did something that no one was expecting; Billie Joe was doing the screaming that Tré normally does. Tré came strutting down his stairs, walking over to Billie Joe as he was finishing the screaming. Billie Joe looked at us with a grin on his face as if to say “Yeah, I can do that too.” Bless him, he looked so proud of himself for that.
Then, Tré pushed past him and strutted down the runway. If America needed a new Next Top Model, Tré Cool was their man. The way he was walking down the runway and posing t the end, it was like he had done it all before. In a way, I guess he has what with the countless photo and video shoots. As he walked back to Billie Joe, I had to look to the screens to see what was happening. Tré grabbed the cups of the bra he was wearing and juggled them at Billie. He then snatched the microphone and showed Billie just how the screaming was done. Tré exploded into his usual self, he ran down the runway, screaming like a banshee. For a moment, one glorious moment, we made eye contact. Y’know what? I was so over come with lust and had been for the entire show that I think I was on the brink of orgasm. His voice deepened as he ran out of breath, I had to regulate my breathing to stop myself either passing out or screaming in an orgasm like fashion. Either would have been embarrassing.
Well I want you to know. Tré kicked his left leg into the air - his foot near to his ear. I said I want you to know right now. He switched to standing on the right leg. I suppose, as you could guess with me, my eyes wandered down to an area which every girl in my section probably would be staring at also at that moment in time. It was a lovely view, one that I have saved in my mind on a continuous loop. You have been good to me baby. Better than I've been to myself. The dance ended and Tré walked back up to Billie Joe who had been on the drums for that one section, handing him the microphone as he passed him.
Billie was smiling from ear to ear - laughing at his friend’s eccentric antics. He had seen it so many times before and knowing that it was still making him laugh made me feel so relaxed. If I’d seen a look of “not again” on his face then I would have felt incredibly uneasy and then found other little things to pick up on, things that weren’t really there.
One more time was shouted over and over again, we could have had Tré doing this all night. I’m sure we would have paid the money for just a show of Tré singing Dominated Love Slave and doing this dance to Shout. Clown school had most definitely paid off. Billie Joe turned to look at Tré, maybe to ask him if he wanted to do it again. Tré rose from his seat and came bounding down the stairs. Taking the microphone from Billie, the two men parted ways once more. Billie took the ascent to the drums and Tré took the descent into Lushotologyville.
Tré came to the end of the runway, once again staring into the eyes of everyone he laid his eyes upon. Then, he turned away from us and walked to the right hand side of me. I said I want you to know. The dance commenced once more. Looking to Billie Joe on the drums, I saw that irrepressible smile upon his face once more. That smile was an honest and genuine smile. The grin that had been on his face throughout was almost enough to make me cry. Tré’s second dance-a-thon ended and, naturally, we demanded more as soon as Tré got back to his drum set. Billie Joe and Tré exchanged places once more. Tré came down to the run way again and this time repeated his dance so he was facing the left hand side of the catwalk.
Tré finished and was panting slightly from the vast amount of adrenalin flowing through his system. He turned away and walked back up the steps to where Billie Joe was now standing after his descent from the drums. Tré handed back the microphone and returned to his natural place in the world.
“You want it one more time?” Billie asked amidst the growing chants which were filling the Stadium once more. He laughed as he turned to Tré. “The record is three, you think you can do four?” he asked Tré, that beaming smile still on his face. Tré grinned at us and nodded. He shot up from his seat and ran down the steps, taking the microphone from Billie. Tré came down the catwalk done last time and looked at us. I made eye contact with him again and grinned. Tré’s smile grew wider then he shot away back up the runway and steps, before turning left and heading for the left side of the stage.
I said I want you to know! We all started dancing again. Well, I say dancing but there really wasn’t enough room there to dance without me either interfering with Mino’s bottom or getting all up in the hymen of the girl behind me. We just kinda grinded together anyway, without any fear of bodily fluids being exchanged.
The dance came to an end. Tré sauntered back to his drum set, passing Billie the microphone as if it were some relay baton. The crowd didn’t want anymore of Tré for now, we wanted someone else.
“You want Mike?” Billie asked us, looking down at us at the end of the runway. He turned to look at Mike as the screams of the bassist’s name flew up into the air. Mike slipped his bass strap over his head, holding the guitar by the neck. We screamed, Mike was going to be dancing in front of us and singing! Back up vocals were alright, if we wanted Mike to be a wall flower all night. We didn’t want that though, we wanted Mike to feel our love. We wanted Mike to feel as though he were loved by us as equally as we loved Billie and Tré. Billie Joe took the bass from Mike and handed him the microphone.
As Billie Joe slipped on the bass guitar, knowing that the strap was too long, Mike bounded his way down to us at the end of the runway. Mike fucking Dirnt looked at me, we had eye contact. I’d now shared a moment with every member of Green Day, I could have literally died of happiness right there in that moment. He raised the microphone to his lips, we were going to hear Mike sing on his own. We were all on tenterhooks just waiting for this glorious moment, this life defining moment which was about to go down in Green Day history.
I said I want you to know! Mike’s voice was incredible. Every now and then, I’d hear it on backing vocals and think “Oh, that’s pretty” but then and there, now he was right in front of me; it was a powerful growl. It was primitive, deep, amazing. The Dirnt was out to impress and he was doing just that. He kicked his left leg into the air. My Sixx, that man is so flexible. My eyes wandered down to his crotch. I can tell you now, that man is packing some. His right leg went into the air. Everything seemed to be in slow motion at that second. For one solitary second, both of Mike’s legs were off of the floor. There he was, just levitating before his left foot slammed into the floor. Mike took himself down to the floor, slamming his backside to the ground to finish his rendition of that section of the song. Just as quickly as he had gotten down there, he sprang back to his feet.
He whipped his cat ears off of his head and flung them into the crowd. The next thing I know, I was hit in the eye by something and the object landed on my chest. I looked down and there they were. The things which were now my entire world. There, in my tits, were Mike Dirnt’s cat ears. My eye stung like hell, I couldn’t see out of it and I could barely breathe. My chest was tight, my heart was contracting. This costume prop was going to be the only memento I’d have that this show actually happened. Yes I still had the ticket, the photos and the videos. But in my hand, I was holding something which belonged to the bassist of my favourite band. Everyone would have spazzed out if they’d gotten something from Billie or Tré but I was close to death with this cat ears. I snatched them off of myself and was so close to crying. For the rest of the show, I had a death grip on those things since I could hear the girls behind me conspiring to take them from me if I let go of them for even a second. They were mine, they are mine. If worse comes to the worse, I’ll be buried with those things.
Mike left us, left his cat ears with me, left with a third of my heart. He walked back up to where Billie was waiting for him with his bass guitar. Everyone was so caught up in the fact that Mike was up here dancing in front of us that we didn’t notice that Billie Joe was playing the bass for that section. Honestly I had no idea that Billie could play the bass, unless watching Mike for so long has taught him a few things.
“Jason!” a few people started to scream. The screaming was as contagious as the Plague in the 1600s. Soon enough, everyone was screaming for Jason. I wasn’t sure of which one we wanted until Billie turned to Jason White and motioned toward the runway. Apparently Jason declined so Billie took over once again, singing Shout at the top of his lungs. We were singing, dancing, the audience participation was immense. It wasn’t a Green Day show anymore, it felt like a band practice, we’d just been drafted into Green Day and Billie Joe was putting us through our paces. It was a family reunion, like the ones people have on national holidays. The Idiot Family was unstoppable that night.
A little bit softer now, a little bit softer now, a little bit softer now. The music grew quiet until there was only Jason playing in the guitar. Everyone on stage, bar Tré lay down on the floor facing the sky. The crowd fell silent, faint screams filtered out from the quiet. This wasn’t the eerie silence of awkwardness, this was the beautiful golden silence of awe. Here we were in the presence of the best punk rock band of the last 21 years at their biggest ever show. It was quiet that I could quite happily revel and thrive in.
Always look on the bright side of life. The Monty Python tune was carried on by 71 thousand people. Allow me to be cliché for a moment. Billie Joe was telling us to look on the bright side of life. I was stood in front of the barrier at my favourite band’s biggest show. All three members had looked at me, I was holding a costume prop. There I was surrounded by Green Day fans. I wasn‘t with Charlie but I didn‘t feel alone or scared. I knew I was safe with these people because of the girls beside me had given me some water after I caught Mike‘s car horns. This was the brightest side of my life that I was ever going to find. Call me what you will for that but it’s true,. At least for me. This weekend had done more for my selfesteem that I had ever thought it would. Though, I’ll save this sap for the end, since there will be a lot of sappy mess at the end.
Mmm, baby face. You've got the cutest little, mmm, baby fa-ace. There's not another who could, mmm, take your pla-ace. Mmm, baby fa-ace. You start my heart a jumpin'. You sure have started something‘. Mmm, baby face. It was funny that no one in the proximity knew what this song was. Only by looking it up on Google do I know what this and the next little snippet of song was. Now that I know, I wonder about Billie Joe’s musical taste, whether it’s for real or just a little joke he has. This song is called Baby Face and it’s by Little Richard. Oh, Billie Joe’s favourite Dolly Parton song is Little Andy, listen to it, it’s really weird.
The confusion for the next little snippet. The song was California, Here I Come by Al Johnson. Though, Billie Joe changed the lyric California to London Town. London Town, Here I Come. Right back where I started from. Where bowers of flowers bloom in the spring. Each morning at dawning birdies sing at everything. A sun kissed miss said, "Don't be late!". That's why I can hardly wait. Open up that golden gate. California, Here I Come. Billie’s voice sounded a little different than usual. There was something more melodic there. His voice, for that song, sounded purer than I had ever heard on a recording or any other live show. It was almost enchanting.
Are teenage dreams so hard to beat. Everytime she walks down the street. Another girl in the neighbourhood. Wish she was mine, she looks so good. I wanna hold her wanna hold her tight. Get teenage kicks right through the night. We were back to the songs we all know. Well, maybe not every one since not a lot of people knew about the Undertones. To be honest, I only knew about them because of that pop band Busted and their cover of the song. The family harmonised their voices, made sure that they all complimented each other and Billie Joe. Other bands may have auto tune but Green Day have us.
I can’t get no satisfaction. I can’t get no satisfaction and I try and I try and I try. I can’t get no. No, I can’t get no. Everyone in the Stadium was singing, everyone knew this song, if not because of the Stones then because of Green Day. Satisfaction is one of those songs that everyone knows or seemed to that night. If this wasn’t unity, then I don’t know what is. Maybe that concept doesn’t even exist if this doesn’t qualify.
From the Stones, we soon went to another iconic British band. Love them or hate them, the Beatles could write a good Stadium song, a song worthy of being called an anthem. Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better. Na na na, na na, na na na na. Hey Jude. The angelic sound of 71,000 voices in unison rose above us, sending chills down my spine and warm tears to my eyes. It felt like the air had been sucked out of me. I’d never had a moment like that before so I guess that’s what it was like to say something was breathtaking.
A little bit louder now, A little bit louder now, A little bit louder now. The music built up again in layers and rose on volume. The band climbed to their feet. The crowd started jumping and the expendable energy flowed out of us. We danced, we sang, we screamed, we did everything Billie Joe told us to. Though I would have regretted it later, I could have gone through this show for the rest of my life.
Shout came to an end, bringing King for A Day to its close. Billie stood in front of us for a moment, soaking in our praise for him. I’ll tell you this now, there’s no front man quite like him nowadays. No one is willing to put themselves through this gauntlet of a show for 18 months. You may say Jared Leto or someone like that can match up to the likes of Billie Joe but who can have a crowd so involved in them and their band that everyone is willing to forget the moment they’re living in? who can make thousands of disillusioned people suspend their disbelief and wipe their mind out outside woes with the recession and the state of the government? We had to think about nothing that entire night. Billie Joe took our thoughts, our worries, our darkest secrets and he threw them outside. Discarded them like they had no place bothering a fan of his. “No one fucks with my band’s fans” I believe he said. That’s what he was proving. That show taught me how to live in the moment, how to be alive, how to forget everything that had been on my mind. My depression, the cold outside, the fact I was without Charlie, Jen and Alex Vagina, none of that mattered at that moment because Green Day had my back. No one has ever done that to me before, has made me feel like that and no one ever will. They can try, but they’ll fail spectacularly.
The lights were dimmed, plunging us into seductive darkness, enveloped in the halo of light which came from the arch hundreds of feet above us. The sky was clear, neither a cloud of a star penetrated its perfection. The only light on the stage was the blue under lighting of the stairs leading to Tré’s drum set. Something about that moment made me feel more secure than I had ever done that entire night. Surrounded by the buzz of chatter made me feel I wasn’t alone. A cool breeze dances through the stands of my hair. I felt invincible in that moment. Green Day had made me feel untouchable. I was on top of the world and nothing was going to bring me down.
Billie Joe walked back onto the stage, holding his custom acoustic guitar. A single spotlight was put on and lit Billie up beautifully. He walked to the microphone playing the melody of Paint It Black by the Rolling Stones. The crowd was abnormally subdued - if the acoustic guitar was out, something beautiful was about to happen. And it did. 21 Guns happened.
The entire crowd sang the first verse. The sound of that one collective voice floating into the stratosphere. This was one of the only times I didn’t sing. I wanted this to be in my mind for the rest of my life. I closed my eyes and mentally pressed the record button of my mind. With my eyes closed, I found it easier to breathe. It felt like I was floating above the crowd. It was the same sensation I had when I had a John Lennon song dedicated to be during one of John Roecker’s radio show. That feeling of being weightless and empty. The feeling that inner piece was mine. I was in Nirvana, true Enlightenment. I was where I belonged. The place I had been searching for my entire life. I was home.
The words of that song I did sing, the chorus, just flowed out of me of their own accord. One. Twenty one guns. Lay down your arms. Give up the fight. One. Twenty one guns. Throw up your arms into the sky. You and I. My eyes were still closed. My heart beat slowed. My body was rocking back and forth. I had only felt music like that once, with Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. That was how I knew that my life… my life force was Green Day. I opened my eyes and there was Billie Joe standing in front of me. For all I cared, this was the man who created me, gave me my life and would eventually hand me my death. This was my God, my Saviour, my Messiah.
One. We raised a finger to the sky. Twenty. Two fingers. One. Back to the one. Guns. Making a gun shape with out fingers. Everyone else had dance routines. Green Day had hand actions. This was how the family, the essential Green Day Mafia was established. This was something like a private joke between all 71,000 of us.
The one thing that could have made that song perfect was rain. Well we didn’t have rain as such, we had rain of golden sparks shower down from the rafters. My heart stopped and my jaw dropped. This was perfection. I was seeing perfection. Something I never thought I would see. Something I always thought I never deserved to see. I wish I had a photo of that moment, the moment I saw perfection. The moment I felt like I was worth something. It was that moment that the screens were filled with footage of Christian and Gloria from the music video. Jason Freese began to play the piano interlude. Tré had come out from behind the drums to say thank you to us all. Mike was pounding his fist on his chest. Green Day loved us and we loved them so entirely.
“Thanks a lot for coming out. I’d like to say thanks to Frank Turner.” We cheered, yay Frank Turner. “And I wanna say thanks and I love you to Joan Jett and the Blackhearts!” We cheered again, yay Joan and the Blackhearts.
The song died down and the cheers became louder. That was the loudest we had screamed all night. The most heartfelt we had been all night. It was at this point that I was starting to feel emotionally drained but I didn’t care. This was a Green Day show, there was no time to be drained of emotions.
The band left the stage as a unit once more, leaving us to applaud and to at least try to come down from the emotional taxation that was 21 Guns. There was no way that I was going to get over that, no matter how long Green Day were going to be off stage for. To be honest, if I was like this for 21 Guns, I didn’t want the end to ever come. There was no way that I trusted my emotions at that moment and after the show, I would never be able to trust myself.
This show was what I was living for. When it was over, what would I have left? I already knew the answer to that. I would have my friends and m family, the people whom I love dearly and always would. The weren’t Green Day and they were never going to be. They weren’t going to magically transform into the three men that I would give my life for in a heart beat. My life was their's in the first place. Billie Joe just leant it to me during Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
Green Day emerged with their small entourage of musical talent. Billie Joe adorned the sunburst Les Paul over his slight shoulders. He strode up to the microphone stand as the others took their positions. Billie took the neck of the guitar in his left hand and a plectrum in his right. Plucking 11 notes gave us the introduction of the beginning of the end. The intro ended. Billie jumped into the air. The moment his feet touched the ground, the hugest bunch of pyrotechnics were set alight and exploded. A gust of warm air his my face, making me feel even hotter than I already was.
I wanna be the minority, I don’t need your authority, Down with the moral majority, I wanna be the minority. We were jumping up and down, pumping our fists to emphasise those words and how much we meant them. The entire Stadium was singing, this was our anthem. This was the song to carry us through to an uprising. That was the intention Billie had when he wrote the song then to have thousands upon thousands of people singing it back to him. We may have been over 10 years late but the punk rock uprising was happening in a monumental way.
It really was like or own movement in that Stadium. We screamed the words of discontent for authority and its hypocrisy. The message of Green Day was as relevant to today as it was back then when Green Day was becoming politically aware. We had grown up with them, matured into socially conscious people, into disillusioned people. People who were desperate for a change and still being betrayed by the very government we elected.
This song, this night, this show, was all about us, us and Green Day. This song was our way of telling the world and it’s stereotypes to fuck off. We didn’t need them. We had ourselves and we had each other. I was surrounded by people who understood me. They might not have known me but they knew that I was about, how my mentality ticked. Finally I had found a band which understood my emotions and a crowd of people who felt the same way as I did and sympathised, even empathised with me.
Billie Joe pulled out a silver harmonica from his pocket and stood with it pressed against the microphone. Using both hands to steady the microphone and harmonica, Billie showcased yet another musical talent, playing us the harmonica solo of Minority. He had his eyes closed the entire time and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking, how he was feeling. I wondered if he had ever imagined his band playing this venue 21 years ago and if he did, did he ever think that it was going to be a reality.
Thinking of that and following those thought processes, a mass of pride swelled up in my chest and began to sting my eyes. I was proud of them. My band was playing their biggest show ever. They had come such a long way and come through so many tribulations and now here they were. I saw one of the security guards looking at me uneasily. He asked if I was alright, if I needed water or anything. I declined and said that I was fine, just a little emotional. He smiled and nodded before tending to someone else who needed to be pulled form the pit.
The last long note from Billie Joe’s harmonica floated into the air to be sucked in by the dust soaked stars. That note was soon met up in the atmosphere by the screams of 71 thousand people. That was the moment to be in, the moment you‘ll talk about when you turn to your grandchildren and say “I fucking lived.” Knowing that you could be heard for miles around, that you were probably interrupting people’s incredibly mundane lives with your unadulterated happiness. You were confronting the internally dead with your interior life. Showing them how to be alive once more, how to breathe, how to express themselves, how to love, how to do so much more than exist.
Billie Joe took the harmonica from his lips and put it back in his pocket while we cheered for him. Once again, he grinned at us before taking the microphone from its cradle and walking away from the stand.
“I don’t know how many times I can say this, there is not enough times I can say this. The only way I can do this right now is to feel this right now but all I wanna say is fucking thank you” Billie went on to say thank you another 12 times in a row before shouting “Thank you for the last 21 years. Thank you, thank you London.”
To the tune of Wembley’s roar, Billie walked back from the base of the runway to where Jeff Makita was standing, repeating the same riff over and over again on his acoustic guitar. “Hey, this guy right here, he’s been playing on acoustic guitar for the whole tour, his name is Jeff Makita right there.” The cheer for Jeff left someone to be desired. Maybe it was because not a lot of people knew who he actually was. Mind you, there are people out there who don’t concern Jeff and the two Jasons as part of a secondary Green Day.
Billie bounced away from Jeff , over to the left hand side of the run way, “Right over here, he looks like Michael Jackson, I know, it’s weird.” I think, no I know, Billie Joe was drunk at this point, since he kept saying “right here” and “This guy”. “Right over here on keyboards and saxophone, Mr Jason Freese.” The scream was louder this time around. Freese was impeccable and it was amazing to see what he can do on a stage. He was that extra element of fun - I can’t see Green Day doing a tour without him now. If they do, I will not be impressed.
“And this guy, this guy” Oh Billie Joe. He was starting to sound a little like those guys you get in a nightclub or a pub that drapes themselves over one of their friends and announces their undying love for them. It wasn‘t like we were complaining though. It‘s Billie Joe, he can do, and say, and act how he likes, it‘s his show after all.
“He also plays in a band called Pinhead Gunpowder” I screamed my head off - woo Pinhead Gunpowder! Fuck yeah! Then, I looked around and almost everyone in my section was staring at me as if I were a psychopath. Well, if the straitjacket fits. I wasn‘t expecting many people to know who Pinhead were anyway. “Ladies and gentleman on guitar and vocals, Mr Jason White.” As you can expect, there were more screams this time around. White had cemented himself a god, well, he had done when he joined Green Day’s back up musician team. The silent yet all knowing god of Green Day.
“And on the bass guitar, my best friend since I was 10 years old. Ladies and gentlemen Mr Mike Dirnt right there.” The place erupted. Yay for Mike! I always thought that Mike didn’t get as much love as the other guys. Personally, I love Mike. If half of the people at the Stadium saw interviews like the one in the Bookmobile or outside that show with his yellow jumpsuit on, they would love him too. It’s still the same Mike, he’s just grown up a little bit - not a lot but just a little bit. Oh Miguel, I love him.
Thinking that we were growing bored of introductions, Billie Joe came down to the runway. Hey oh he sang, we repeated the notes back to him. Every time he sang; the notes grew progressively longer. I knew what was coming - after being in the cold for so long and the amount of cigarettes I had been smoking, I knew my lungs weren’t going to be able to hold that much air. This was where I was starting to feel the effects of camping out. I didn’t and still don’t regret it, I just regret that I wouldn’t be able to hold the monumental note that Billie was about to throw at us.
There it was. Billie Joe was laying down the gauntlet. Emptying his lungs of air with this ridiculously long note, he was physically squeezing his chest so oxygen could leak out. My jaw dropped as my head cocked to the right. I though Bullet in a Bible was impressive but what I was seeing, blew that out of the water.
“Come on” Billie said after a moment of us telling him what to do with himself. Drawing as much oxygen as I could into my lungs, I waited for Billie Joe to open his arms to start us all singing. When he did, I think the majority expelled the most air out of their diaphragm when forcing out the “H”. I managed to hold on the first part for 20 seconds. The harmonious sound of 71 thousand people singing filled the air for 50 seconds. 50 long, glorious seconds. Even though it sounded like one continuous hum, ringing through the Stadium, all around me, I could hear people breaking their notes for air. Even perfection has it’s flaws. That’s how it works though, the imperfections are what makes something truly beautiful.
Billie Joe lowered his arms, signalling the end of the note he was making us hold. It was a vocal orchestra and Billie was our Mozart. Cheers filled their air, echoing around the Stadium. Billie Joe looked around at us with a smile on his face. He cast his eyes down to his wrist then looked up at us again with a smirk on his face.
“You just officially beat Manchester the other night.”
No one had said anything about it but we all knew that we were trying to outdo the Manchester show which had been three days before. From what I had heard about it from Polly, it was an amazing show. It felt good to know that we were still maintaining that the second night is always better than the first mantra.
As the cheers died down, Billie turned to grab the microphone stand and walked to the top of the steps which led down to the runway.
“Ladies and gentlemen on the drums, Mr Tré Cool.”
We screamed once more for the drummer of the band. He was most possibly the most important part of that band at that moment, maintaining the tempo of the songs with the beat of the snare drum. The skin of the snare drum took another pounding as he beat out a military rhythm, calling our song to arms, regrouping the army of Green Day fans, drafting them into another onslaught. Billie Joe marched down to the end of the catwalk, carrying the microphone stand. Placing the stand on the floor, Billie grabbed the slender neck of his Les Paul and looked our at us all.
One light, one mind, flashing in the dark. The band fell silent as the recruits took on the battle song. We sang louder than we had done all night. Our collective anthem infiltrated the air and billowed like smoke up into the methane, carbon monoxide and other gases hanging in the atmosphere. Blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts, A face in the crowd, a song against them all, A free for all, fuck them all, you are your own sight.
The loudest explosion of the night went off as Billie Joe took his song back from us. A plethora of confetti pieces sailed into the sky and rained down upon us all. My chest was still shaking from the intensity of the pyrotechnics but I caught some confetti and shoved it in my pocket with my free hand. Luckily my bra caught some as well. It was like something drove me to grab as much confetti as possible. Almost every Green Day fan now has confetti but it’s just another memento, a reminder that the show that had unfolded before us was sweet reality instead of a cruel illusion.
The cadets of the Idiot Army drowned out their commanding officers as the chorus was sung once more. England has God Save the Queen, America has The Star Spangled Banner, Green Day fans have Minority. This was our anthem and we were damn proud to sing it as obnoxiously as we were. The cheers after the song ended were deafening. We pumped our fists into the air in triumph. The whole of London must have heard us and we didn’t care. I felt invincible, the world was mine and I was going to take it. I knew that that feeling was only going to be temporary so I savoured every second of it.
The band slowly left the stage. They were reluctant to leave and I knew I would be the same when the show came to an end. Even though I knew that they were only going to be leaving the stage for a few minutes at most, my heart still ripped itself from my chest and went with them. If I didn’t want them to leave now, I didn’t want to imagine to myself what I would be like come the end. The cheering slowly quietened as everyone had left the stage. All we could do now was wait.
Confetti still fell from the sky, emotions were running high. The show was coming to an end but we still had a little longer with Green Day and we were going to make that time last forever. The six men walked off of the stage, raising their fists to us as they did so. The stage grew dark, the only light coming from the arch standing hundreds of feet above us. I looked up at the sky, through the falling confetti. My eyes took in the arch and a smile crept across my lips. I wondered to myself how we must have looked from the sky. Gathering confetti in my hands, I quickly shoved it into my pocket where my phone had been sitting, warming to my leg.
“Green Day!” was shouted over and over again. The chant got louder and faster. I could hear a distinct drumming. People had begun to kick the metal barrier, stamp on the covered pitch, the stands rattled with the sound of pounding feet. If I hadn’t have spent the last two and a half hours with these people, I would’ve thought that they were on the brink of starting a riot. I would’ve been afraid. However, we all wanted Green Day to come back out. We wanted them to play this show for the rest of their lives - even if it killed us all. How I was still surviving on an hour’s worth of sleep, I didn’t know nor did I care. Green Day was in front of me, I wasn’t going to falter now.
Suddenly, the city backdrop illuminated, I was deafened by screams and a couple of manly sounding cries of “Yeah”. The six men came back onto the stage. They were almost like gods, no, they were gods Modern age gods, Adonises. Tré flew up the stairs to his podium. Holding a drum stick in both hands he stretched his arms out, causing the crowd I was in to cheer. He slid down into his seat, preparing himself for the next onslaught. The other guys took their mark, looking out on all of us. I saw Mike nod at us as he held the neck of the bass in his hands. Billie Joe stood on top of the amp box, taking his guitar into his hands. He bent down, plucking on a string twice. The high pitched sound reverberated through the Stadium. American Idiot was on its way. Surly enough, Billie Joe hammered on the opening chords. Pyro shot into the skies, bodies flew everywhere. We sang the first verse before Billie could even get close to a microphone. He stole his song back on the chorus, showing us that he was the one running the show.
We screamed the lyrics, threw our middle fingers into the sky. This was our revolution, our piece of anarchy in an order of organised chaos that was the political state of the UK, of the world for that matter. Here we were, singing the anthem of the last 6 years with the same bitterness, the same anger Billie had when he wrote those words onto paper, when he spat them into a recording microphone. Nothing had changed except for the fact that we were a little older, a little more aware, a little more fucked over and disillusioned than we were back then. Green Day were our outlet, that song was our speech. They say actions speak louder than words, that night, Green Day fans spoke louder than actions.
Half way through the guitar solo, Billie Joe came to the mic stand and pointed out into the crowd. “Is that a wall of death?” he asked. My first thought were that people were actually going to die or be seriously injured but surely security would have stopped that from happening if it were in any way potentially fatal to anyone. “You gotta spread out more than that.” People closed in around me. For a moment, my claustrophobia kicked in again. I was panicking - my chest got tighter - I couldn‘t breathe - huge white dots were intermittently blocking my vision - I wanted to leave the pit. I found out there were seven walls of death altogether. One either side of the catwalk, another at the back of the golden circle and a further four in the standing area behind the golden circle.
Don't want to be an American idiot. One nation controlled by the media. Information age of hysteria - Billie stopped and raised his arms. We adopted the next line; It's going out to idiot America. With the following beat of the drum came another blast of the pyro. A gust of warm air blew into my face, winding it’s way through my fringe. I was more than welcoming to the air on my face but not to the temperature of it. Nevertheless, it was air, air that I needed to breathe.
The song came to an explosive end - leaving us mentally fucked but still up for more. I think if we had our way, Green Day would be playing their entire back catalogue. Billie Joe took a moment to wipe the sweat from his brow onto his sleeve then approached the microphone again.
“This is for everyone who came from a shitty little town.”
From watching videos of previous shows on Youtube, I knew what song was coming. I’m the son of rage and love. I smiled, remembering the moments Camp H/J had of singing that song with the little acoustic guitar then again in the line out of boredom. The Jesus of Suburbia. It had become a theme song for all of us in a way. Well it‘s the theme song of all Green Day fans to an extent. I thought about Charlie since this is one of her favourite Green Day songs. She wants to have In the land of make believe, they don’t believe in me tattooed on her wrist. I sang that line especially loud just for her. Every section was met with just as much lustre, if not more than the last. Shouting I Don’t Care, feeling every word of Dearly Beloved, surviving the note Billie had us hold during Tales From Another Broken Home. We met every stake Billie played and upped the ante, showed him just how… amazing we were.
The last pyro of the electric encore shot into the air and exploded. As with every song, there was no other reaction we could give than cheering - chanting the band’s name. Green Day had established themselves as the best live act in my eyes. They were and are gods so I guess I was worshipping them a little.
The band walked off of the stage again. The lights were dimmed and we were left in darkness. It was only at this point that I braved looking behind me. The amount of glow sticks and flashing lights I saw made me feel like I was at an old school rave rather than a Green Day concert. Looking back to the stage, my ears suddenly tuned into the Green Day chant that infiltrated the skies. 71,000 people screaming the name of band that you’re in must be some experience. Slowly, the words they were chanting changed. Instead of Green Day, chants of “Billie” filled the Stadium, leaked into the skies above us for all of North London to hear.
I wondered how Billie was feeling, standing behind the curtain backstage. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he ran away, if he didn’t want the show to end. Maybe that’s why he took so long to come back out. Behind me, the crowd began to ease and move backward. Some people must have thought that the show had ended and they were fine to leave the Stadium.
Those people soon came running back when Billie Joe walked out of the backstage area. He was alone, holding nothing but a black acoustic guitar. A smile crept across my lips as Billie made his way down to my end of the runway. He stopped behind the microphone stand. There he was. My hero. Billie Joe Armstrong was stood 5 feet away from me, in all of his glory. 5 foot 7 inches of my inspiration. For a moment, I reverted back to wanting someone to pull me out of this dream I was clearly in. Then I received a knee to the back and was reminded that all of this was actually real.
Billie’s left hand caressed the neck of the guitar, his fingers curled round to make a G chord. Taking a plectrum in the fingers of his right hand, Billie began strumming the guitar, plucking certain strings. He came to the microphone and made an exasperated moan. I was spellbound. I have always been a sucker for a guitarist - especially if they had an acoustic guitar - but in that moment, I was more captivated than ever.
“I’m not sure when we’re coming back,” My heart sank. I heard a girl behind me make a desperate cry of “No!”. “I’ll tell you one thing; I’m gonna remember this for the rest of my fucking life, I’ll tell you that.” He really had no idea, if there’s such a thing as an afterlife, I’d remember it even then. “I will come back, we will come back.” The happiness I heard from the crowd at that sentence was unlike any other. The happiness building up in my eyes was almost too much to take. “There really ain’t no other band I’d rather be in right now, I’ll tell you that… Bands break up, my favourite bands have broken up.” Billie pulled away from the microphone for a moment to look down at his guitar, maybe to clear from tears from his eyes. There was a chorus of “Aww” from some of the girls in my section. I guess we’re all suckers for a man who shows some emotion. “Some of my favourite people have died. The only way I‘m getting out of this band… they’ll have to roll me away in a fucking coffin.” Those sentences, that whole entire speech - I didn’t need to hear it but it made me feel better. Some of my favourite people have died, some of my favourite bands have broken up. I guess I’ve always had this subconscious fear that something would happen to one of the guys or somehow that the band would break up so maybe in the end, I did need to hear it. Although, I’ll still have that fear.
All night, I had been waiting for the moment where I would fall apart and cry. That moment came when Billie sang; Words get trapped in my mind. People around me were singing. I could hear in their voices that they were close to crying or already were. For a moment, I took a glance around and noticed a guy was crying. This was us being hardcore. People think being hardcore means being stone faced, devoid of emotions. No. To me, being hardcore is being unafraid, fearless of showing emotions regardless of your age, sex, race, regardless of all that bullshit. We were united and unafraid. We were a family, the strongest we had ever been. I sang every word of When It’s Time and I meant every single word with the amount of conviction it was written with. Hearing so many people sing that one song was breath taking. I thought we would have been louder than Billie, like we had been for Minority but we were gracious and we let Billie lead the way, shepherd us through the darkness.
When It’s Time flowed into Wake Me Up When September Ends. Whatever tears were falling from my eyes quickly dried. There’s an emotional connection I have with this song, one that’s almost too painful to talk about so I’m not going to. Whenever I hear this song, I just shut down. I was hoping that I wasn’t going to at the show but I did and I felt horrible for doing so. Thousands of voices began to sing. Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last. Wake me up when September ends. I turned off the video on my camera and watched Billie Joe. The tears glazed his pale green eyes. Billie closed his eyes and I knew what he was thinking. How could he not think about his father at a time like this? It’s only human. Billie’s voice began to crack. Maybe I was the only one who felt like this but I had the unbearable urge to get on that stage and hug him, tell him that his father would’ve been so proud of him, more than his fans could ever be. I heard Tré return to his drum set, my Wembley family were clapping out the drumbeat, louder than Tré could have ever banged those drum skins. Billie was faltering, fighting so hard to hold himself together. He screamed “England!” like he does in Bullet in A Bible. The thing that gave away he was crying? He hid his face with his guitar. That was when I knew Billie had lost it. All the way through the song, he kept blinking his tears away, they had to come out at some point.
My guard eventually fell when we came into Good Riddance. The show was ending with the first song of Green Day’s I had ever heard. My face contorted with a mixture of sadness and happiness. This bittersweet moment was too much for me to take. I sang two lines of that song before I started crying too much. Billie looked away from the crowd in front of him and his eyes met mine. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. He looked at me as he sang It’s something unpredictable but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life. I mouthed the words with him, there was no way I could sing. It was then that the moment I will never forget happened. A tear seeped from Billie’s eye, while he was singing to me. I tried to smile, acknowledge the fact that it was alright for him to cry, that it was appropriate. I’m not so sure how it looked but I think he got the message since he gave a curt nod and returned to his song. The song that had saved me from so many things in this life is the song that I will always carry with me. Even if I get Alzheimer’s or Dementia, I’ll never forget that moment, how much I love Green Day, how much that song means to me. I’d go into what that song means to me and blah blah blah but I don’t think it’s entirely appropriate. Just know that it means the world to me, I love Billie Joe for writing it and it means a lot that he sang a line of that song while looking at me and crying.
Wake me up when September ends. The crowd screamed. Billie Joe screwed his eyes shut before releasing a grin and raising the guitar above his head. Mike and Tré came down to join their friend. I stood in awe, my heart stopped. Tears were bleeding eyeliner down my cheeks. The moment, Green Day became my favourite band. They had made me feel more emotions in the past three hours than I had ever done in an entire life time. Fireworks were exploding above my head but I didn’t care. I was too busy mentally thanking them for everything they had given me, hoping that they were some how telepathic and could hear me. They taught me how to be happy, showed me how to express myself, told me that it was ok to cry. The most important thing, well it has to be important if I’m crying while I’m writing this, they showed me what it was like to be alive, to feel truly alive. They had given me my life. Shown me what perfection tasted like, what Heaven looked like, what Divinity sounded like. The three men in their thirties walked away up the run way. I sent my heart with them. They had given me so much, it was only right that I gave them something back. It may not seem like much, pledging my allegiance to three men who will never know who I am but to me, that’s everything. I’d never loved like that before. That night, that moment, I’d fallen in love, and I’d fallen hard.
It was all over. A construction crew came running out onto the stage and began to dismantle everything. Feeling physically incapable of watching that, I turned away. What was keeping me there? Green Day had already left the Stadium, on their way to Glasgow. Charlie, Jen and Alex Vagina were nowhere to be found. Mino, Brian and Tanja were gone too. I was alone in a room full of people. The crowd were dispersing and I found no other function than to follow them out. For that moment, I was a mindless sheep, that was all I had the mental capacity to do.
Walking away from the spot I had been standing in for the past 6 hours, no matter how slowly, broke me. There was no way I could cry, at that moment, I just wasn’t capable. Looking up to the jet black sky, I knew what was waiting for me on the outside. Waiting for me, like a prison guard was the mundane existence I had been going through before this weekend had even happened. The very thought of it made me want to climb into a road case and cower. I didn’t want it to end, never in my life had I been more recalcitrant to leave a building. I looked at the stage, surprised by the progress the construction crew had made. I’d had my taste of perfection. Heaven reverted back to a concept in a book I always believed was fictional.
With my feet feeling heavy and the rest of me empty, I shuffled along to join the crowd walking out of the Stadium, dragging my Converse along the floor as I did so. I felt so numb that I didn‘t even notice that my belt had come off half way through the show. Nor did I realise that I‘d had two of my toes broken. The second fact, I wouldn’t find out until I got home.
Slowly, I submerged myself in the crowd of mass happiness, they were doped on the elation a show always gives people. I pleaded with myself to feel just an ounce of that invincibility Green Day had given me through the show. I felt alone in my instant cold-heartedness. Fourteen years had gone so slowly for three hours which had elapsed so quickly. Somehow, I felt short-changed, somehow like Fate had cheated me out of the Divine. Drowning within the buzz of enjoyment, I looked down to my hands. I had my camera - good, it had a lot of memories I would be depending on. In my left hand were the cat ears Mike Dirnt had thrown into the crowd. I was still waiting for someone to come wake me from this dream, pull me from this fantasy. Smiling to myself and my cynicism, I tore my gaze from them, I didn’t need any more distraction than I had at that moment.
It came as a surprise that I could actually walk. Mind you, the way the crowd was so packed together, I probably just got swept away again, like I had done in the put when people were jumping their way through choruses and guitar solos. Being hustled up the stairs, depending on other people, I took the chance to look at the stands. It was only then that I regarded the size of the Stadium. Pride swelled within my chest. “My boys just played this Stadium.” I said to myself. I felt like a mother who’s child had just taken a first step or uttered their first recognisable word.
The section of the crowd that I was in had reached the top of the stairs in two and a half minutes. My stranger companions were parting ways, finding their way back to their normal lives. Standing in the concourse of the Stadium, I was right in front of the entrance I had entered through. When I saw the letter J - I stopped and so did my heart. My life was out there waiting for me, waiting for me to return to it. At that moment, I had the temptation of running back inside, down into the pitch and never leaving.
Nevertheless, I trudged my way outside. There were all the people who had been in the Stadium, running around like headless chickens trying to find each other then navigate the quickest way home. What was wrong with these people? Why did they want to go home? They’ve just experienced the show of a lifetime and they wanted to leave the venue as quickly as possible. Sure that I was the only one to see the huge flaw in their logic, I went to find someone I know.
The first people I found were Sammie and Taylor. Sammie walked over to me with tears in her eyes. So, I did the only think I could, I pulled her into me for a hug. It was then that I started crying. It had all been real. I had seen Green Day. My hero was five feet away from me. He had looked at me - given me eye contact. Tré had looked at me, screamed at me. I had caught Mike‘s cat ears. I had met all of these amazing people that until Friday night had just been people I talked to on a computer. Now… it was over.
“Mike commented on my tattoo!” Sammie said, trying to hoarsely talk through her tears. Everything after that had become reverberated. It was so hard to hold conversations with people because I was so dazed. Taylor pointed out to me that she had caught a police hat Billie had worn doing King For A Day. She tried it on in front of us, it was just the right size, if not a little too big. Sammie and Taylor left to look for Kryssi and I was alone again. Trying to find Jen, Alex and Charlie Vagina, I saw Sven, and Bubbles walking off to find a taxi to Brent Cross. Maybe I should have gone with them but I wanted to find Jen since she actually knew what hotel room we were in.
The next person I found was Rosie. She was with a couple of her friends - their names escape me now but it was lovely to meet you. She hugged me as I had started crying again. Rosie then told me that Polly had had to be pulled out of the pit half way through the show. Of course, I went with them to find her - how could I not? It’s Polly, I had to know if she was ok. So we found Polly and had a little chat about the show then went out separate ways.
In my dazed state, I circled the Stadium three times, making it a grand total of 15 times in less than two days. On my journey, I came across so many people wearing GDC t-shirts but I had no idea who they were. What must they have thought? Seeing the Queen of the Wembley thread - of Wembley Stadium - walking around as if she were in a drunken stupor? What am I on about? They’re GDCers and therefore Lushotologists, they’d be happy for me, if I was actually drunk that is. If you did see me, hello again.
Having no obvious luck circling the Stadium to look for people, I moved onto Olympic Way. On my way down, I saw Sammie, Taylor, Kryssi, Roni and a few other people talking outside the arena. Maybe I should have stopped to talk to them. I‘m sorry I didn‘t guys if you saw me. Once again, there were a lot of people in GDC shirts - none of whom I recognised. That was when I saw The Germans with Bubbles and Hannah. I asked them how they were getting back to the hotel. It turns out their taxi hadn’t arrived yet so they were going to wait around a little more for that.
Carrying on my journey, the tube station was my next destination. If I couldn’t get a taxi to the hotel, why not get the bus? Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the birth of the 182 bus crew. The crew consists of Alex, Holly, Kryssi, Roni, Sammie, Taylor and two other people who’s names I’ve forgotten - please forgive me.
Getting back to Brent Cross was absolute hell. We all boarded the 182 bus, paid our £2 each and headed on upstairs. We were on our way! Than we stopped in what can only be described as gridlock. If we knew where we were going then we would’ve walked there and gotten to the hotel a lot quicker. Of course, we blamed Green Day for it. All Green Day has done to London is turn it into a murder scene and a case of chaos. They wouldn’t be our boys if they hadn’t caused at least some chaos with traffic or a murder. They certainly know how to make an entrance and an exit.
There we were, sat on the top deck of a red bus in North London. It was amazing to be able to hang out with those guys. I hadn’t seen Roni or Kryssi save that five minutes when they walked past my queue to head back to the hotel for Kryssi’s ticket. Here I was on a bus with people I had just met and it felt like I’d known them for years - like I’d gone to school with them or something. I should’ve been concerned that I wasn’t with Charlie but what good would that have done? Kryssi was there. She wasn’t going to do anything except take sexual advantage of me and I would‘ve quite enjoyed that really. We were enjoying ourselves, taking the piss out of the fact that Billie Joe shouldn’t be allowed near Twitter when he’s drunk. “It’ll be a pole!” rang out throughout the bus, as well as a beautiful rendition of Dominated Love Slave.
Then, suddenly, it came. A short beep came from the speakers of the bus - then on the tannoy system, the automated voice told us that the destination of the route had been changed. We were going to be thrown off of the bus 5 stops before the one we wanted. None of us were particularly happy, we’d paid to go to Brent Cross, we demanded and had the right to go to Brent Cross. We stopped at the bus stop we were to be thrown out of at, we alighted. There we were in a place we wouldn’t rather be in. There we were, huddling up, trying to hide ourselves from would be rapists, knife wielders and gunslingers.
Luckily it was only five minutes until the next 182 came to the bus stop. We were on our way again and fifteen minutes later, we were back at the hotel. When we walked in, I saw Mino sitting in the foyer. She looked tired so I suggested that she should go to bed. However, Tanja hadn’t come back to the hotel yet. Apparently she had gotten on the 182 but it was the bus which was going in the opposite direction. It was going to take her a while to get back to the hotel.
For the moment, I left Mino as she told me Jen was sitting in the lounge with some other GDCers. Jen clocked me the moment I walked in “Tasha” she said in the odd way Americans say my name, “You need to go upstairs, Charlie’s hysterical.” It turns out Charlie was beginning to think I had been abducted or killed. She had called her mum to tell her I’d gone missing. Since my phone had died, there was no way for anyone to contact me. So I travelled on up to room 917 and knocked on the door. There was no answer. Knocked on the door again, still no answer. After waiting for a couple of minutes, I headed back downstairs to tell Jen that no one was opening the door.
As you can tell, the after party didn’t happen. We were all just too tired, too drained. If the show hadn’t had been as amazing as it was, we would’ve been getting drunk. However, Green Day were amazing so alcohol was out of the question. Instead, we GDCers sat on the couches in the lounge and just chatted. I told Jen about the cat horns and of course, being the Mike fan that she is, she took them from me and of course, she wore them, as did Nele. They were a piece of Green Day, they had to be shared. We all agreed to meet for breakfast if we were all awake and generally cuddled each other as we do. Though Sven went a step further - he bowed to me and kissed my hand. Oh it’s good to be Queen haha.
One by one, the group headed back up to their rooms. Jen and I took to the elevator, two Green Day fans against the world so it seemed. Entering a corridor that looked like it belonged in The Shining, I needed that sense of arrogance to covered up the fact that I was beginning to have paranoid delusions. Jen unlocked the door to the room and let us in to darkness. Alex Vagina had fallen asleep in bed and Charlie had just been sitting on the couch in the dark waiting for someone to tell her where I’d gotten to. There was a huge sense of relief when I saw Charlie. Not because I was scared to be without her, I knew I was alright with you GDCers. It was because I knew that this was doing to her, she’s been one of my best friends for six years and I put her through that. To say I felt awful was a bit of an understatement.
Guys, I cannot tell you how happy I was to see a sink basin. To be able to finally wash my face was fantastic. The moment that cold water hit my face - it was divine. I’ll tell you what was more fantastic than that - sleeping on something that wasn’t concrete! My Sixx baby dolls, sofa cushions had never been so comfortable. Plugging in my phone to 15 new text messages made me feel rather popular as well, I‘m sorry if I didn‘t reply to you at all over the weekend. The sleep itself wasn’t that great since I hit my head really hard on the underside of the coffee table and was probably unconscious for a couple of hours. I did wake up feel a bit disorientated.
To the guys who were staying in Brent Cross - how amazing were those curtains at blocking out sunlight? My Sixx! I originally came to from my injury at about 9:30 and it still looked dark so I thought my phone was lying to me, went back to sleep haha. I heard Jen get up and go down to breakfast. I was going to get up as well but I was still to tired to even contemplate moving. The next thing I know, I hear the door open again and Don’t Stop Til you get Enough by Michael Jackson was playing. It scared the fucking shit out of me. Then it stopped. Thank fuck for that I thought. Then there was Fashion Victim by our lovely boys and I heard “Fuck! It didn’t work!” Good morning to you too, Kryssi. I opened my eyes and there in all her glory was the lovely Miss Kryssi Kay in her Snoo mask. "Get in" I thought to myself, "got Kryssi in my room for some sex". She left before I could develop a girl boner. Grr Kryssi, getting me back for groping her breast methinks.
Half an hour later - with my Green Day hoodie on, I was ready to leave Brent Cross. Well, not ready to but you get my drift. Saying goodbye to Jen was hard. Apart from Charlie, she was the GDCer that I spent the most time with. I was hugging her goodbye and I got a lump in my throat - Jen’s breast was choking me. I jest. Swear to Sixx, I didn’t want to leave, I couldn’t bear it. How we actually made it out of the hotel room, I’ll never know. I cried a little walking down to the lifts, not that I was going to let Charlie see that, so I hung back a little.
Leaving Brent Cross underground station tore me apart. I could see the hotel and the Stadium from where I was sitting. My eyes were beginning to sting with tears again. I said goodbye to the view as we pulled away. I know I won’t be going back to Wembley for a while. It just won’t be the same if you guys aren’t there.
It took us about 2 hours to get back to Longfield [Where I live, Google it if you want to stalk me]. Charlie and I stood outside the train station for a minute. She was waiting for her mum to pick her up and I opted to walk myself home. We hugged. We rarely do it so it’s a bit of a big deal that we did. Charlie, if you’re reading this, I’m so grateful that you bought the tickets, were willing to involve yourself in the madness that is GDC and for being willing enough to camp out. You are one of the most amazing friends I have ever had and I appreciate you so much. I’m so happy that I have you in my life. I love you to pieces. Giving Green Day to me as an early 21st birthday present… I can’t thank you enough for that. Charlie, I fucking love you.
On the walk home, I cried. It was the first time I had been properly alone all weekend. Everything was sinking in. The fact that I saw my favourite band, that I met you all… it had all just been so amazing. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I started missing you the moment I left Brent Cross. It hurts so much knowing that I’d met you and now I’m here without you.
The first thing I did when I got home was go up to the bathroom to get a shower. At least, that’s what I told my parents I was doing. The shower was running, the room was filling with steam and there I was in the corner of the bath, sitting under the shower. Sweat and memories from the past two days trickled off of my skin with the clean pure water into the sewer system. The tap water on my face mixed and diluted itself in the hot salt water that were the tears bleeding eyeliner down my cheeks. There I was, truly alone, feeling further away from my friends and from my band than I had ever done before.
While it felt good to get out of the jeans I had been wearing for two days, I hated being away from all of you. I still do hate it. It’s a fate worse than death. To have met you, to have loved you more than I did before, to have experienced that show with you - they’re all things I wish I could do again, things that I will do again. I have a list of things I want to do before I die. After this weekend there were a few new entries to that list. Right now, I’ll tell you what’s at the top of that list:
1) See my GDCers again [with or without Green Day].
Seriously, the eight/nine months we had to wait was so agonisingly slow but so agonisingly worth it. Y’know, I probably have cirrosis from the drinking I did, probably have some lung disease from the amount of cigarettes I went through, there are probably a lit of things wrong with me as a result of that weekend. None of that matters though. What I realised that weekend, last weekend, is that I would do anything for you guys, absolutely anything. You were there when I wanted to push everyone away. You gave me a kick up the ass when I was being harsh on people. I’ve been happy, sad, angry, enamoured, drunk, sober, elated, depressed - all because of you but I would do all of it again within a heartbeat. I never thought that I would feel this way about people I met on the internet, never in a million years. I’m just going to lay it all on the line here - stake my reputation as the Queen on what I’m about to say.
I love each and every single one of you with everything I have. Every fibre of my being is going into loving you. You are some of my best friends. I was my true self that weekend and I had not been like that in months. Thank you for the last nine months, for the memories, for the laughs, for the tears, for the rape, for the cuddles, for the live. Thank you for everything. That weekend wouldn’t have been the same if it weren’t for you. I can’t imagine life without you and to be honest… I don’t think I can live without you.
